My Mom Really Hates Me.

wow. where do i start.

my mother really dislikes me. at times i think its cause im not that pretty, but my sister whom is pretty shes jealous of her. and doesn't like her neither. but my mom is sooooo nice to everybody else. i dont understand. shes also afraid of confrontations. ive noticed.shes a big time crowed pleaser. but with me, it seems like she takes all her anger out on. anger caused by  other people, but since shes too scared of them. well confronting them. she knows she could take it out on me cause i have no choice but to put up with it. and i need her. i wish i had enough money to move out. leave and never look back.

and be happy. form my own family with my friends. its cool that she doesnt like me. she doesnt have to like me. u know its not the end of the world. people dont have to like you. its just making me cry a bit cause i feel so alone. i stopped speaking to all my old friends cause most of em had babies and dont have time to hang out. and the rest cuz they werent real friends so i thought it best to cut them off. my mom is always pushing it in my face that i have no friends, and shes sooooooooooo judgemental. she is merciless with me. completely a family reunion when  we r talking and i make a joke thats not that funny, most people would brush it off but she just sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes at me being very hurtful. making me feel stupid. god i feel so alone.

my stepfather is always picking on me and if i say something to defend my self she gets in my face screaming and yelling at me. she tells everybody bad things about me that are not true. that im a loner and dont like to share. she told my cousin the other day that" i wish veronica could be more like you you like to share and conversate" and only god knows all the times ive tried to have a conversation with her and how she pushes me off. sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes. so i was really angry when i heard her lying like this but never told her anything about how i heard what she was saying.

 i know i must forgive her so i dont end up like those loonies that are parents themselves and still complain about their parents like but its hard. it definitely is.

OK. first thing i need to do is accept it. cuz once you stop swimming against the current you are at ease. so my mom i shouldnt say hate cause thats a very strong word. so my mom doesn't like me. my mother doesnt like me. my mother doesnt like me. im starting to feel better, living indenial is the worse. my mother doesnt like me............ and thats ok........... because shes not perfect.......what important is that i like me. i must learn to love myself enough to not feel the need for anothers love.

veronica4ever veronica4ever
26-30, F
12 Responses Feb 15, 2010

You know wat veronica.?
its the same with my mom... i tried to write an experience and i saw your experience.. it felt like u are practically living what i am living.!
try writing a journal like i do.. and u know what..??
i tried to commit a suicide once , and i still try but i know im unique and im still finding my self...
cheers to us ;)

sorry to hear that. just hang in there. thing do not stay the same EVER not even when it seems like it will never end. I hope you can find the strength to move on and be emotionally independent. cheers!

That's good that you have self love. Sounds like your mom has issues though.

I think it's likely that your mom doens't like herself. It is sometimes hard for a parent to feel inferior to their children, but if her self image is badly damaged, she may very likely believe that and so in putting you down, she feels better about herself.. Of course that is unfair and repulsive and it's not an excuse for her, but you shouldn't feel that you are the reason.. her feelings toward you are entirely unjustified.

Wow Doll, u really have some special parents.<br />
Try to talk to your mom in private.<br />
Good luck

After reading about your feelings about your stepfather... I believe that that is another reason your mother acts as she does... if you have suspected for so long that he is attracted to you... then she has too.... and like a crappy mother she takes it out on her daughter.... sorry...

wow thnx. you are right. i have been indenial about my father's real intentions until today but maybe my mother has noticed for a while and being more a woman than a mother she sees me as her competition. it's ok though i am working on getting my own place. :)

Sorry... your other story.. where she tries to make you look really young... like your not a woman tells me this even more.... I wish you the best... but don't move into a dangerous crappy apartment... crappy ok... dangerous no

i love the way u end it.. u are still positive... a little serenity prayer for you...<br />
I hope you have,<br />
the serenity to Accept the things you can't change<br />
the courage to change the things you can, and<br />
the wisdom to know the difference.. <br />
all the best..keep fighting..afterall life's about survival of fittest..take care!!

thank u so much for your comforting words:) i definitely have accepted my mother the way that she is but i am also aware that having her in my life isn't healthy for me and my selfesteem. i know she is never going to change. when i can i will part ways with her.
thnx again for the prayer &lt;3

ur welcome jellybeanjen. and remember you are not alone. obviously all of us here seem to be going through similar things. i guess just because a women gives birth doesn't mean she develops her maternal instincs best wishes luv

my moms the same and we just had an argument not too long ago today.<br />
I can honestly say me and her fight EVERYDAY.<br />
She compares me to my cousins so much saying theyre better and listen more .<br />
Thank you sooo much honestly,this made a difference in my life iwas crying right now wondering whhy she didnt like me and why cant i have a mother daughter relation ship were i can talk to her and tell her things...i try to please my mom sometimes but she always ends up putting me down and when i do chores she always yells at me saying i didnt do it right.<br />
she has said if she knew i was going to be like this she wouldve aborted me..ihave had thoughts of suicide because<br />
i hate fighting with her ..but you know what?<br />
Its okay she doesnt like me i have friends that LOVE me.<br />
Im so different at home than i am at school im pretty outgoing and funny but when i get home that all changes im so deppresed there...<br />
I just need to remember im my own person i need to learn to love myself and i dont need her to like me,<br />
just got to keep saying that to my self.<br />
Im currently 14 my birthday is in march 11 so i have around 4 more years of this...<br />
I really hope i can go through it..<br />
Thanks a bunch to you and the people who commented you made me realize alot..<3

I have the exact same thing. My mom hates me for being skinnier and constantly tells me I'm fat. She nearly pushed me to depression last year. If it wasn't for my best friend calling me every night and talking me to sleep, I wouldn't be here right now. My mom is definitely the way yours is and the most important thing is not only to try to live your life without her negativity but to find a rock because I guarantee you it will be easier that way.

wow... reading your story is like reading my life story to myself. That is so crazy. My mom is the same as yours she avoids confontrations at all costs with others everyone thinks my mom is the nicest mom in the world. I've had many friends come over to my house and tell me that I'm lucky because of the parents I have. But they dont realize the truth. My mother constantly puts me down and lies and talks badly about me to others. Its so sad her favorite thing to do is constantly talk about how great my brother is and then talk about how insecure I am to everyone. All of her friends always treat me like I'm broken. Also the whole friends thing I'm going through that too. When my friends turned 21 they all became obsessed with alcohol and they dropped me so quickly because I'm too young to go to bars. The whole thing has turned me away from alcohol and even though I'm turning 21 next month I have no desire to drink. I feel so alone too. Itd be nice to have a mom that could be my best friend instead of one that has never been there and clearly is ashamed of the daughter she raised. Best of luck to you. Keep your chin up. I hope things get better for you.

Your mother does not have to like you. She did her job when she gave birth to and raised you. Beyond that she doesn't owe you anything, not even love. The only person in this world who owes you is you. You are right, you have to learn to love yourself. Once you do you will see that it doesn't really matter what your mother thinks of you. I would also be willing to bet that if your sister is pretty, you probably don't look too bad yourself. Just emphasize all of your good features and you'll see it too. I did and I was shocked at how beautiful i think I am. (Too bad I haven't found a man who feels the same way) Anyway just be you, smile and try to find something to laugh about everyday. I think it will help.

Jesus Christ, u r so brave!