My Mom Really Hates Me.
wow. where do i start.
my mother really dislikes me. at times i think its cause im not that pretty, but my sister whom is pretty shes jealous of her. and doesn't like her neither. but my mom is sooooo nice to everybody else. i dont understand. shes also afraid of confrontations. ive noticed.shes a big time crowed pleaser. but with me, it seems like she takes all her anger out on. anger caused by other people, but since shes too scared of them. well confronting them. she knows she could take it out on me cause i have no choice but to put up with it. and i need her. i wish i had enough money to move out. leave and never look back.
and be happy. form my own family with my friends. its cool that she doesnt like me. she doesnt have to like me. u know its not the end of the world. people dont have to like you. its just making me cry a bit cause i feel so alone. i stopped speaking to all my old friends cause most of em had babies and dont have time to hang out. and the rest cuz they werent real friends so i thought it best to cut them off. my mom is always pushing it in my face that i have no friends, and shes sooooooooooo judgemental. she is merciless with me. completely unforgiving.in a family reunion when we r talking and i make a joke thats not that funny, most people would brush it off but she just sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes at me being very hurtful. making me feel stupid. god i feel so alone.
my stepfather is always picking on me and if i say something to defend my self she gets in my face screaming and yelling at me. she tells everybody bad things about me that are not true. that im a loner and dont like to share. she told my cousin the other day that" i wish veronica could be more like you you like to share and conversate" and only god knows all the times ive tried to have a conversation with her and how she pushes me off. sucks her teeth and rolls her eyes. so i was really angry when i heard her lying like this but never told her anything about how i heard what she was saying.
i know i must forgive her so i dont end up like those loonies that are parents themselves and still complain about their parents like teenagers.lol. but its hard. it definitely is.
OK. first thing i need to do is accept it. cuz once you stop swimming against the current you are at ease. so my mom i shouldnt say hate cause thats a very strong word. so my mom doesn't like me. my mother doesnt like me. my mother doesnt like me. im starting to feel better, living indenial is the worse. my mother doesnt like me............ and thats ok........... because shes not perfect.......what important is that i like me. i must learn to love myself enough to not feel the need for anothers love.