My mother is a woman who is much beloved by her local community, always lauded as an extra hard worker, etc... she is also very close with my younger sister. However, my relationship with her is totally different.
She has always resented me, ever since I was born, because I was very sensitive. As a baby, I never let up my crying. Even worse, I was my father's favorite (he and I were very close), and she was jealous of all the attention he gave me and not her.
As a teen, she would confide in me all her problems, which was totally inappropriate, but then when I needed her like a teenage girl needs her mother, she was never there for me, as she was much too disturbed and fragile to be able to handle my problems.
I also have a younger sister who is about 1 year younger than I am. She and my mom, are much more alike personality wise, as my sis is very cold and insensitive,as my mother is. Also, she had allot of the same ambitious nature that my Mother does. I was a slacker in high school/college, to say the least.
My mother also is an alcoholic and a narcotic pill abuser, and my sister is a complete enabler as far as my mother goes. My sister is unwilling to listen to my complaints about my mother and defends her behavior and just says I am too sensitive. Needless to say, my relationship with my sister is practically non-existent as well.
Anyway, now that my dad has passed away, it has drawn my mother and sister together even more closely. I am basically shunned by their little clique, and it always leaves me wondering what I did to deserve such treatment. I have tried to get closer to my mother to give her support since she is all alone w/o my father, but she just resents it, and is completely ungrateful to any attempts I make. I will send her emails and call her, but she leaves my emails unanswered and screens my telephone calls! (She is incredibly passive-aggressive, as well...) It's so hard though, because I have needed support as well, since my father died, and my mother has never given me one ounce of support for anything. Except for my husband, I am totally alone.
My next move will be to another part of the country, far from my mother and sister, as I have come to the conclusion that our relationship is just too unhealthy and that I need geographical distance between us.
(My sister and her husband have already bought a house only about 2 miles from my mother's house, and they are getting ready to start a large family. My husband and I right now live about 50 miles from my mom, and that is too close for us.)
It's so sad that our relationship has deteriorated so much in the wake of my father's death, but that is the cold reality.