I am a 14 year old that has relationship problems with my mother. I recall constantly getting bullied in my elementary years because of my social awkwardness. I remember my mom coming home from work; I would look forward to her coming home. However, she would only say hello to me, then go sleep or work, completely ignoring me. She would also not let me play with friends other than at school. From this, I had problems conversing with others properly because I wasn't exposed to it, therefore making me a victim of bullying. As a child, I would always look up to my mother as my role model. However, she could not convey her feelings in a proper manner. If I was wrong, she would blatantly yell, "No, that it wrong!! Fix it!!". She never told me the difference between right and wrong, and barely showed me any love. As a result, I treated my classmates the same way my mother had treated me, resulting in constant phone calls. About two weeks ago, I had brought up this topic with my mother. I am extremely fearful of my 8- year- old brother, who also has problems with making friends and properly conversing. I am extremely mature for my age, as I act differently than most teenagers; fangirling and dreaming of marrying celebrities does not come naturally to me, and I somehow find taking many selfies a day strange :. Anyway, I have always been like a second mother for my brother, and have always wanted the best for him. Anyhow, I talked to my mother about my bullying experiences as a child, and I calmly told her that I felt like my brother needs more attention from her (as getting attention from a sister than a mother is somewhat different). I also suggested going to the arcade together, as he loves video games! This resulted in an all-out rage session for her. "Don't you dare tell me how to raise my child! I am his mother, so I know how to raise him! What do you know? Your job as a student is to study and leave the raising part to me! You are only 14, so stop acting like a 30 year old. You don't even care for your brother! You're so selfish to cry!" She said some other phrases that make me cry even now thinking about them, therefore I will not type them here. Anyhow, every time she talks to her friends, they praise my extremely high level of maturity, and she takes credit for it. The only reason why I am mature is because I stopped listening to her; I have posh communication skills and I have many friends because I went out of her restrictions, and I don't crave for attention anymore. It seems like our mother- daughter relationship is no longer in existence. Whenever I craved for attention from her, I would be overly friendly and get excited because I had thought that was the way to get friends. Now, I have my priorities straight. She thinks that love is buying my brother and me whatever we want. How can I confront her about her lack in proper parenting skills?

P.S: To all of those who say to do something nice for my mom and talk to her after-- been there, done that. That doesn't work on her.

P.S.S: She thinks she can create a future for me; she wants me to become a professor and get me married to some man at 22. After, she wants me go to her preferred college, and make my husband pay for my master's and Ph.D expenses.
anushkapatel44 anushkapatel44
16-17, F
1 Response Aug 18, 2014

i have the same story as you , so i understand everything you have been through, and i know how it feels when you need your mom's love but she is just not there for you