I Am Tired.

I am tired. This is all I can say anymore. I am only twenty years old and feel much older. My mother and I have never gotten along. I am always very frustrated with her and she feels the exact same way about me. My mother expects me to juggle a job, college, a fiance, pets, and planning a wedding like it is no big deal. I feel like it is an on going battle that cannot be won.

It started when I was sixteen. I was dating a guy four years older than me and he was also in the marines. It was a lot to handle. The situation got  a lot worse when my mother started butting in all the time. I was having a lot of problems with dating an older guy and not being ready to have sex. I was sixteen an pressured into it. I felt horrible all the time and my boyfriend made it worse by pressuring me more and more into things I didn't want to do. I did not feel like I could talk to my mom about it so I struggle all by myself. When I finally got the nerve to break up with him I was seventeen. My mom grounded me, did not allow me to go to my junior prom and constantly nagged about how I was so selfish. She had no idea what I was going through.

The next phase with our fighting was my rebel stage. I was so tired of being nagged and penned up like a child that I rebeled. Not in a too crazy way but for my very religious family I was the devil. I made friends with a girl whose parents would let us do anything. I was dating guys all the time going on vacations. It was the time of my life until my mom got involved. She disliked the girl and once again we argued continuosly. It got to the point where I was forbidden to date or go out anywhere. I also could not speak to my friend.

When I graduated high school life with her got a lot easier. I found out if I just did whatever she said the nagging and arguing would stop. That is until I met Zack. She really likes and I certainly love him but we have our relationship problems. He comes from a family where his mother does everything for him, I don't.  I am moved out of my parents home and Zack lives with me part time. I expect him to keep up his end of the house. We argue all the time about this subject but always seem to work it out . On the other hand my mom seems to think that women are to serve men. I am suppose to juggle my life and cook for him everynight, wash his clothes fold them, iron them then put them up neatly. Take care of his dog and  be at his bekon call. She doesn't understand that I am exhausted. I need the help to survive right now.

I just need her to stay out of my business and relationships. Facebook does not help either. I am probably the only twenty year old that is hating Facebook. My mother has joined within the past year and if I am nopt her firend she yells and gets mad a. If I am her friend she yells at what I am doing or what I post. I can't take it. I need ideas to stop this endless battle. It doesn't help eiother that I work for her and still depend on her alot financally. If I do something she does not approve of she threatens my job!! My relationship is now falling apart my home is falling apart and my schooling is slowly falling apart. I need help, I am tired.

dandee2 dandee2
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 12, 2010

Please don't tell me you said that you were planning a wedding. No, no, please no. A thousand times no. A wedding. OMG. There are the words. Cough! Sputter! Weeze! I hear the weather is very nice on Lesbos this time of the year...

I think you should go away somewhere far from both your mother and your boyfriend.It might be difficult but you need some time alone to think about your life. If school is an issue,try to go live with a friend or something,just for a while...If that's impossible,too, plan something for yourself,like a salvation picture if only in your mind (like a future vacation for exp.) I know what it's like to be controlled by others and especially your mum. I think they only want girls while we're little...Afterwords it is a crime to have your own personality. That's why you should try your best to keep your integrity and right to be yourself,you deserve it. Conversations not always help,because when you try telling your mum how you feel the result might be an explosion.That doesn't mean you shouldn't try but from my experience,it did no good. I agree with the previous comment that you should try finding another boyfriend if this one does not respect you enough to see how you feel. You are young enough to see much much more of the world,but don't let people try to tell you what and who you should be!

Honey, save yourself whileyou still can. Come to the conclusion now that yur mother will never change and end your relationship now. If you do not this is your future...she will try to control your future marriage just as she tries to control your relationships now, if you ever have children she will make your life hell by trying to tell you how to raise them and she will never try to understand anything about you. Cut your losses now and find a different job. as long as you rely on your mother financially she thinks she is justified in controlling you. Also, your so young, fnd yourself a boyfriend that has some respect for you. He uses you for his personal slave because his mommy let him use her. He is a typical peter pan and probably won't grow up for a long time. believe me, I speak from experience.