My Son Wont Pay His Court Ordered Child Support...

I love and miss my son but I am very disappointed in the fact that he will not pay his court ordered child support.

He also will not see his child.  I don't know what to say so I had to take his pictures down around my  house.  You can only tell a child for so long that Daddy is working.  Even at 3 he is not stupid.  Now he just says, Daddy is gone.

This makes so sense to me since we fought for his right to see his child, and the child support was very fair.

But, he met another woman and she does not want my grandson to be part of their lives. She has manipulated my son since the beginning of their relationship to get him away from his son and the rest of his family. At one point she even had my son believing she tried to kill herself so he would leave his son.

He was strong, for about 6 months, but then her lies won him over and suddenly he wont talk to me  or the rest of our family.

My main goal is the best for my grandson, because he is the child in this situation and he needs support and love.

These are young kids, early 20s, and they made a lot of mistakes.  But my grandson is not one of them.  My father and I have been very generous with my son, too much so.  My father is 91 years old and he paid 30k for a car for my he wont even go see my father who is dieing.  He is mad at the entire family and has cut off all contact with all of us.

My son is now married to "this women" and of course I was not invited to the wedding.  I am not a part of his life because
I put my grandson first.
Given the choice of my son or my grandson, I have to take the side of my grandson because he is 3 years old and needs all the help, love and support I can give him. Does not mean that I miss my son less.  It just means that I had a very hard choice.

Although I live in a state that boasts the fact that child support must be paid, getting it from people who work "under the table" in order not to pay is very hard.  My son works for his new wife's family and they lie so he wont have to pay child support.

I wish they would take his drivers license away and even put him in jail.  I think that would make him pay it.

I worry so much because I am almost at retirement age and I don't know who is going to take care of my grandson when I no longer can
help financially.

The law needs to get behind single mothers and fathers to get the support they need.

Even though I love and miss my son, he needs to pay his child's  - even if he wont see his son.
SadMadMom SadMadMom
56-60, F
4 Responses Sep 8, 2011

I support your decesion as an abandoned mother, my son's father is a deadbeat and we have suffered so much because of it. My now 12 year old asks about his father and i don't have the heart to tell him that his dad is a selfish God-less man who abandon me as a teenager when he was a 27 year old man. He legally owes me over 10,000 and we really could use it. It's painfull for all of us and honestly it makes me lose faith in this country that it continues to go on eventhough we have always tried with the courts.

I agree with YOU, srwagner. <br />
<br />
It is very hard to be shut out of your sons life the way you have been. Our stories are very similar.<br />
<br />
Women are not the only ones that can be in a manipulative relationship. So can men and esp. young men who have not stood on their own for a while.<br />
<br />
I feel very sorry for you and understand your pain. I wish it was as easy as " he is an adult and can make his own decisions"... <br />
<br />
Still, the decision he made was not to pay child support...something pstno seems to forget.<br />
<br />
As the grooms parents, we have to be invited to the wedding...we can't just SHOW UP.<br />
<br />
You have made a very hard decision not to be with your son and to be there to help your grandson.<br />
I know you miss you son, but at this point it is your grandson that needs you.<br />
<br />
Good Luck to you both!

Yes, my son is an adult. But just as a women can be abused, so can a man. <br />
<br />
Early in the relationship he came over with scratches, nail marks and I asked him why<br />
he put up with this behavior...because I love her so much was his answer. <br />
<br />
She also was a caregiver for my father and forged timesheets to get more money when she was not at the house. My sister fired her.<br />
<br />
So...I was not invited to the wedding, along with all the rest of Mike family that stood up to the fact that Mike needs to pay child support. I do blame my son, his wife and her family for saying my<br />
grandson was a mistake and Mike should turn his back on his son.<br />
<br />
My son is so in "love" he can't stand up for himself. I did not raise him to illegally work under the table and not pay Social Security, Income Tax or child support. I can't be blamed for this behavior.<br />
<br />
All I did wrong was raise a spoiled brat that does not think of anyone but himself.<br />
<br />
My first husband did not pay his childsupport and we struggled for many years. He knows this, and that is why his brothers and sister are so mad at him because he wont take care of his son.<br />
<br />
If he IS unable to pay, why doesn't he make arrangements to SEE his son. There is no wall of China around his son and child support and parenting time are TWO SEPARATE ISSUES.<br />
<br />
There is no restraining order against either my son or his wife so they COULD see my grandson.<br />
<br />
If you find it hard to believe that a women at 21 is manipulative, then you don't know many young women. Read some posts on MY DAUGHTER IN LAW HATES ME and see that I am amoung a very large crowd of women that also are being shut out of our sons life.<br />
<br />
Open your eyes.<br />
<br />
I'll pray for YOU too. Sincerely.

There is always 2 sides to the story.. Maybe you never acceptive toward his wife? And he probably feels betrayed that you chose your grandson over him, ur son..& where is the mother??? What is she doing & why doesn't she have her own child? y should u have to be codependent and take responsibility that is not yours? Ur almost 60 years old and u want this responsibly bc of ur son and the babymama actions? U shouldn't be doing that at ur age u should be relaxing not involving urself with stress that neither of the parents r worried about..& Surely ur son and his family are wondering y u chose ur grandson and the babymama OVER ur son and his wife? I'm sure there has to b more than what u said about him not inviting u to their wedding...

She has manipulated your son? LOL - right, as if he's not an adult who should be able to make up his own mind to actually care about his own kid! And I have to wonder what you did to not even be invited to your son's wedding. It's all her fault, huh? I find that hard to believe.

I totally agree.. There is always 2 sides to the story.. Maybe you never acceptive toward his wife? And he probably feels betrayed that you chose your grandson over him, ur son..& where is the mother??? What is she doing & why doesn't she have her own kid