Deadbeat Dad

Though he wasnt always, he gave me a very hard time when I was getting child support. I worked 60 hours a week just to make ends meet and when child support saw my check stubs I was given less than I thought cause it coutned against me. He was fired from his job for sexual harrassment, although he claims they just downsized the multimillion dollar company by 1, in January!! Originally I agreed to stop collecting support but had a bad feeling about the original agreement. I had "some" sympathy. I did finally give it up in June, and since then I have had no help with our children since then. I bought them all their school clothes, all their supplies, shoes bookpags etc. I even kept the recipts so that I could show him that I wasnt just trying to get his money. He didnt want to see them cause he apparently has no intention of helping me with our boys. he claims I was taking too much for the year of support I got and now I have to let him have the year to catch up because of the overpayment and no job. He apparently is working now but God forbid him sending $20 bucks my way to help!! He tells our boys that I stole money when it was legally given to me by the courts so that I dont have to just go on his word. This bit me in the *** big time!! I wanted to give him a chance to do the right thing and all he did is screw me!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! What am I supposed to do? Thank God the wonderful man in my life wants to help although it still doesnt make it right that their working father isnt helping. I make a great living on my own and I have made sure that my boys have what they need and want as much as I can. This wont go on forever I hope but God help me not to want to hurt him!!

MegJgeM MegJgeM
36-40, F
9 Responses Sep 19, 2008

Were you married before or after you got pregnant with the first child?

Were you married before or after you got pregnant with the first child?

You are doing nothing wrong and stay on the butts of the system to make sure your kids get every penny owed to them. If 'dad' is telling the kids anything about the child support or talking badly about you assure them that he is just angry that the law is making him do the right thing because he cannot do it on his own.<br />
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Good luck and don't give up.

Sorry to hear about your story, but its not the norm. Support is taken from the mans paycheck and he has no say in it. The only dead beats are in jail or just dead broke. Also, there is no accountability on how the money is spent, and the guidelines have no basis in reality. When the feds screwed up the whole system in the 80's, they went to Dr. Robert WIlliams from PSI to "fix" the problem. Our current system now comes from socialist countries and is totally out of kinder. The majority of fathers have no problem taking care of their kids, but when you see what is stolen from them as the courts do today, most are angry and have every right to feel that way.

One of my daughters hooked up with a loser. She got pregnant, got a job, an apartment, had three boys. Finally he ran up bills at local pay advance places, cleaned out her bank account, stole the rent money (shot my dog and stole my bible!) and has since been moving up and down the east coast. He told her he didn't think he should have to pay her child support because she earns enough to support the family. She also told him that she supported him, too, and called him a bloodsucking loser. And I don't know how he did this, but he managed to get her fired from her decently paid job. So she got another job that doesn't pay so much, and got remarried to a decent man.<br />
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Another thing is the boys aren't really interested in him. They haven't seen him in more than two years, and two of them are still fairly small.

if anyone is owed childsupport and you have the deadbeat parents social secerty number when he reaches the age to get the socical securty you have the right to claim that money<br />
of his go to the social securty office and tell them he owes back childsupport even if the childs over 18 years old you can get part of his s.s. check

If you have a divorce decree stating what amount he needs to pay in child support -(even if you had a verbal agreement to change it.) Contact your local district attorney office, Child Support Section. Dead beat Dad's are a serious problem and the DA's office should go after him, with guns blazing. I only know this because when my daughter was young, I had the same problem and within weeks of dealing with the DA's office - child Support and BACK child support started being paid.

the law finally tracked him down<br />
and I kid you not the first 2 checks I got were for .04cents <br />
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I still have them at the time it cost a dollar to cash them

Ive heard this story so many times........dont the men realise that they are fathers and need to look after their children.....its a control issue.<br />