You Should See My To Do List

I've concocted a "to do list" that has an A.M. schedule, P.M. schedule, daily schedule, weekly schedule and monthly schedule. It's all the things I'm spose to be doing in order to keep life in control. It's a big list, should/could/would keep me busy for 6-10 hours a day but it would keep my life from spiraling out of control. That's exactly what happened when I stopped following it. My life is so out of control I ended up here looking for answers/solutions/cures, for my now "chaotic to the point of no return" life. It's a good to do list. It's not asking too much. It's what I need to do in order to get it done (does that make sense?). But do I do it? I don't. Sometimes I get some of it done. Sometimes about 10am I'll make myself do my A.M. schedule which sometimes gets the ball rolling but never to the end. The longer I put it off the worse it gets. Neglected. I think I'm going through a bit of depression or something. If you read my other stories you'll probably see that theme; depression. It's just one of those "rock bottom" parts of life that everyone seems to go through, I think it's just my turn. Maybe I'm just in denial and it's something else. My family says I'm just lazy, maybe that's all it is. Maybe I'm just lazy and need to make myself do it (my to do list). Maybe. 

Maybe I should try that challenge thing. My challenge should be to do my "to do list". I know I'd fail though right now so I doubt I'll bother. 

Anyways. You can call me Missy. I found this site trying to find answers to a nightmare I had last night.