Will Not Get You Laid.

So many of you focus sooo much of your attention on this goal you cross the line into What will render the EXACT opposite effect. I can not help but feel pitty. Married or not Fellas. Please lets stop the pain now.


1. Stop annoying us. We are less likely to be frisky if we are irritated.

            If you ask us what you can do for us, and we tell you. Then please just do it. We will wait , and wait and wait for you to keep your word. After months of waiting we will however do it ourselves and be very irritated. Not because we had to do it, but because you let us down.

          If we opt not to do the task ourselves (because it is just physically impossible, or we lack the know how) but instead remind you, we are accused of nagging. Look, if you do not want to do the task at hand, don't offer, or do not say you will. Get someone else to do it.


2. Have some self respect.

           Everyone has body functions, But just because we have been with you for a long time, GUYS that does not give you license to Burp/Fart EVERY time you walk in the room we are. We start to get the feeling you are TRYING to make it unpleasant for us to be around you.  Just like you we want to feel wanted. Being as disgusting as possible Is a turn off, you won't be a happy boy if your "special" Lady has to wear a gas mask in your presence.


3. Pick up after yourself.

          We get tired just like you do. It is an unfortunate fact that when we women come home from work, we Still have work to do! We are not mules or maids. we don't care that your pile of socks is a WHOLE 4 inches from the laundry Bin. Get them inside!! Don't leave your refuse lying about for us to pick up. If we have figured out where the laundry bin and the garbage is Why can't you!!!  Fun takes energy!!!!!!


4. Expect us to call you on your nonsense.

        If you are cohabitating. Your Experiments effect us. We all too often have to clean up after you and or drive you to the hospital. We have more then enough work to do and we do care if your injured, pls Do not take it so personal when we tell you something is a bad idea. I Promise you we thought about it, we see where it is going. If we tell you ( insert bad idea here : deep frying a frozen Turkey  ) is a bad idea Please, at least look it up, read the directions or ask an expert (an expert is not your drinking buddy)  We really do have your best intest at heart. and they Don't have Couples visits in the hospital last time I checked!!  

those are my top 4 Ladies please feel free to add yours.

CheekyGeek CheekyGeek
15 Responses Feb 12, 2010

LOL Dem. Your a Funny one. HUGS

aires LIVE on EP...<br />
<br />
for THE NEW STORY <br />
<br />
<br />
which may KEEP YOU out of the "doghouse"!<br />
<br />
and CHEEKY stories to come :<br />
<br />
YOU ARE NEVER too OLD...<br />
but TRY TO PACE YOURSELF, lol<br />
<br />
( YES "sizzlation" is a word <br />
even IF "scrabble" doesn't recognize it yet)<br />
:P<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
*raises eyebrows*<br />
<br />

It's all good. I speak typo, many of us do. ;)

OMG That was Soo Funny!!!!! my *** looks big... really ..0.o j/k

LOL HapHazard it's ok so ahead and vent we women do have some annoying habits too ;)

I've never fallen in, I do have the good sense to put the seat down. How about you Get your aim sorted out there Blokes It a HUGE round OPENING You have a Hose. Point and shoot it IS that simple!!!

This is hilarious and unfortunately true. Thanks for the smile.

They are angry at us when we reject them. We reject them because they are jerks. You would think they would see that, but rather then work on their issues they just hate us more, so much that if anyone one of them does not hate us the anger is redirected on the decent guy. soon there will be non left.

Isn't that the truth!! I finally woke up and realized all my ex really wanted was a mommy/housekeeper/freebie and I put a stop to it . Sad to say, I have a romantic, kind , totally unselfish man in my life now and when he writes a story on ep he gets harassed and called a "fake" among other things I will not repeat. That is a sad state of affairs. Like I said to AE, don't these idiots get it? Their attitude is the very reason they can't get laid!!!! We don't WANT em!

men and their cake too... OY!! When I ad my personal experience to those of other women I wonder if the real reason men choose to live with us is Only to have a maternal substitute with Physical benefits. There are some good guys don't get me wrong I'm not a man hater, Unfortunately I see decent men harassed by their less evolved counter parts for just treating women with decency. it is sooooo sad.

...men and their ....cockles.

Oh Giggles, been there done that. So glad I fired the 5 min wonder in my life. ;)

Mine is also a romantic suggestion: DON'T say something along the lines of "hey baby, want some?" and then proceed to earn the title of "The Five Minute Wonder". It takes you 5 minutes and you leave your lady wondering "WTF? Where's mine??"<br />
<br />
My all time favorite: I work all day and stop off at the grocery store so he would have a hot meal. I LUG in a dozen heavy grocery bags and 50lbs of dog food.....as I crash to the floor out of breath and exhausted he finally looks up from the tv and says, "Did you need some help?" Oh Nooooooo! But don't expect me to be all thrilled to "help" you when I come to bed buster!!<br />
<br />
Cheeky, I love this! It's so cathartic.....I got a million of them!

I don't get it, they can write their name in the snow, but the minute you give them a target they forget how to aim.

Indeed no. If we see you about as careing/romantic as a fruit fly then no. That will not inspire anything but Distain form the Ladies.