Growing Up With No Fatherly Figure

When i was really young, about 2 or 3 years old, my dad had decided that he couldn't raise two girls and a beautiful wife that was basically forced upon him.
So he decided to pack his bags, and leave nothing behind for us, but hurt in our hearts.
At first i didn't understand, i was young and naive, and thought he was just going away for a little while.
Finally when i was about 11, i started to understand.
I started to understand that i wasn't wanted. That i was thought of as a mistake that couldn't be fixed in my fathers mind.
And when my mom got remarried to my step dad, i tried to see him as my fatherly figure. I tried to tell myself that he could be my new dad.
But after years of living with him and his son, they had disappointed us as well.
They had betrayed us, everything we knew and had gone through. It was a joke to them. For years, i felt unwanted even when my step dad was around. After my mom finally got divorced to his dumbass, i kind of lost hope in finding a father figure to help guide me.
I kind of just gave up.

It's always been hard on us, with just me my sister and my mom. Financially, we've always been much less wealthy than any of our friends. I had to grow up faster, and take in more responsibilities than other kids my age. Life was just one big struggle. Any nobody really understood it.

Until finally, i moved to a place where people got me.
Many of the strongest, wisest people i know here, are fatherless as well.
And it made me realize, after 17 years, that not having a dad, made me who i am today.
After having a long talk with what is my big brother i never had, i get it now.
Everything happens for a reason.
And the best people out there, go through some of the hardest things. It's how we learn. It's how we mature, and blossom. It's how we bond, and share experiences to help each other. It's how we stay different.
And some day, even if it's minutes before his deathbed, my dad will realize he loves me. And he will realize that he ****** up.

He now has new kids of his, and a new wife. Years later, he's back in the position he was, but now i guess he's ready.
And even though he still doesn't take care of me and my sister, i'm gunna have to thank him.
Because my life would not be what it is now if he was still here.
I would not have met any of the awesome, supportive people i did, that showed me i don't need a fatherly figure to pick me up when i'm down. I don't need two sides to go to when i ask for something. I'm strong, and i'm independent.
and it's all because of my dad.

And that is why, i am sharing this story with you.
You're not alone out there if you're fatherless. And i know what it's like, not to be a daddy's girl, or anything like that.
But it has made my relationship with my mother and sister so much stronger,
and my relationship with my boy so much easier.
When we, have to pull through together, to overcome an obstacle many people shouldn't have to go through, alone.

getoutsoon0206 getoutsoon0206
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

Thanks Leah. This article made my day. My experience has been exactly the same except for the fact that my mom did not get married again. I completely agree with you, when you said, life would not have been the same if he was still there.

Loads of love!
- Kish

Wow , Reading This Made Me Feel Like I'm Reading My Own Life Story . I've Gone Through The Same Thing . Buh My Mom Never Remarried , It's Jus Always Been Me , My Mom , &d My Older Sister . We've Struggled Soo Much , Been Homeless &d All . Buh I'm A Very Strong &d Independent Person Now To This Day &d I'm Very Grateful For That . My Dad Abused Me &d My Sister From When I Was 3 Til I Was 10 &d That's When Everything Changed For Us Cause I Came To Live With My Mom &d He Never Once Wanted To See Or Talk To Us Again . He Doesn't Pay Child Support Either . My Mom Still 6 Years Later Is Going To Court With Him &d She Struggles Soo Much Everyday . I Feel Soo Bad , Buh Were Strong Women &d We Make It Work . If I Never See My Dad Again In My Life , I Think That Will Be The Best For The Both Of Us . My Dad Has Put Me , My Sister , &d My Mom Thru Hell &d I Could Never Sit Across The Table With Somebody As Low Life As That . Buh Im Here If You Ever Want To Talk , I Totally Understand Your Story . Hold Your Head Up , We Don't Need Them In Our Lives Although It Would've Been Nice . Buh We Defintley Will Grow Up To Be Stronger Than Most Women &d Defintley Won't Take No Sh** From A Man . Lol (:

Oh wow. I'm so very glad that you can relate to my story :)
I'm sorry you had to go through that stuff as well, it's just not what it could be, ya know?
But i Do agreee, and i think i don't take Annny **** in relationships, because i know i can be stronger than some guys can.
Me and my sister took care of our family when my dad couldn't, and i'm so proud to be able to say that i helped my family through some tough times.
I will definitely message you sometime, if you message me!
A lot of people could learn from our stories, so i hope they actually take the time to read them.

Yess , I Know . Neither Of Us Should've Had To Go Thru It , It's Nothing Anybody Wants To Experience . &d Well That's Good That You Could Be A Help To Your Family . I Know I Help Alot With My Mom &d Sister Too . My Sister Has A Learning Disability Soo I Act Alot More Maturer Than Her Soo That Obviously Leaves Me With Many More Responsibilities Too . Buh I'm Proud To Speak Of Everything I'm doing At This Young Of Age . Buh Okay , You Definetly Can . I'd Love To Chat (: &d Yeah , I Know They Can . Hopefully They Help Somebody As Well As They've Helped Us To Talk About It ((: