If youve never had it, you dont know what your missing.
My Parents were both still in highschool when my mom get pregnant.
my mom, of course was happy and wanted me.
my dad? not so much...he asked my mom to get an abortion, saying they were too young and he still wanted to party. of course, my mom was agianst that and brought me into the world instead.
from there-it was a rocky road. they switched from living with his grandparents (they raised him, my dads parents were druggies&and his dad also an alcoholic) from my moms mom and step dad. i dont remember sanger much, or the other city..both verry private. i was always around adults-my mom thinks thats why i started talking at 6 months and walking at 8. by 1 1/2 i knew my abc's, and how to count from 1-20. i could also recognise some letters.
but anyways-back to the story with my dad...he was apart of my life the first few years because of that situation. well of course it wasnt free, just cheap rent. and i guess my dad got fired so my mom needed to make money quick-she saw an add for stripping. well i guess my dads grandparents found out because they kicked my mom out for being 'immoral' and my dad out too.
so we moved to fresno, where my mom worked monday-fridays all night and i was left with him. he was like a kid from what i remember. he was always on his video games, i was always trying to get his attention. when his friends came over they all ignored me. he never fed me food, id have to climb on the counter to get snacks and wait till my mom came home at 2am. (i think thats why im a night owl now, because as a kid i always stayed up waiting for her.)
he was never a dad to me-i didnt need him anyways. i was completely attached to my mom. i never felt love from him, never got any. he only stayed with my mom because she made lots of money. that was why she was always working, he would steal her money and go use it to buy stuff for his car or movies. so she would end up working weekends too, to make ends meet. i didnt understand as a kid, but sometimes he would take me with him in his car to a house and make me wait in the car for hours late at night all by myself because he was messing around with some other chick. that ****** me off now-even more so that as a kid i didnt understand.
finally, day before new years, (i was 6 by then) he dumped my mom. but said he still wanted to live here, free rent. my mom told him **** that and on new years he came to her with a ring trying to propose saying he didnt mean it and he was sorry but my mom said it was too late she had enough of him stealing her money and not helping. she kept him around for so long because my moms dad walked out on her when she was 1 and never tried to be apart of her life, so she wanted me to have a dad.
when he was gone (a week later) i didnt feel sad-didnt feel anything. all the nieghborhood kids said they felt sorry my parents were 'divorcing', i dont think they realised they were never married. just 2 teenagers stuck together by one kid. i wasnt sad though, i didnt care. at leased i dont remember caring.
he sometimes tries and contacts me, every 4 years or so. i dont get no birthday presents, no phone calls...just recently a random text in september saying he wanted to 'see me'. even though he hasnt since that 1 visit when i was 12, when he was marring his 1st wife (she found out about me through his grandparents, then demanded to meet me. really nice lady, tried to make him be a father too. truth is, he just didnt even want to be a dad)
his myspace says, "i dont have kids" recently looked at it. it makes me wonder what he wanted when he tried contacting me because obviously he doesnt want to be apart of my life. but its whatever. ill let it go. i dont think having a dad is that importaint. if youve never had it, you dont know what your missing.