My Ugly Experience (pun Intended)

My retarded/ugly looking face always seemed to funnel people's judgments of me through a patterned way. I was cute as a 4 year old, but outgrew that quickly. Having a droopy tired and pale face from chronic insomnia, acne scars (still have a bit of acne), swollen look in the face (sinus sensitivity), and big nose/ears, I don't think it's even necessary to post the picture. I can't stand people; I am anti-social. This is complementary since people can neither stand me. Women are usually quick to avoid me, especially if I give off the vibe that I'm even remotely interested. I've never had many female friends really. 0 dates, 0 girl friends, and I'm a virgin. My attempts at dating can be summarized as follows: Grade 6, convinced by two girls to ask out my crush, who nervously rejected me; found out the two girls set me up for comedic value and sooner than later, the whole class interested in gossiping and stalking me on the soccer field (rather than playing soccer). Grade 7 & 8 I endured a lot of harassment. It was embarassing to be the center of jokes when a female's friend would say, "I'lll be busy, hey hang out with (my name)" - then the girl would always give a "are you serious" face. I'm not exaggerating if it seems like it; if it does sound melodramatic, I assure you the pain is not exaggerated. I really lack a lot of motivation to do anything. The only thing stopping me from killing myself is the fear of death (I think suicidal, but I'd never do it or ever came close).

Thank you for listening to my story.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 19, 2013