I'm Not Diagnosed Anything, But...

Most of the time I'm okay, both with eating and myself. I'm a bit chubby side (around 140 lbs when I last checked) but not too much overweight. Personally, I find many bodyshapes attractive, so this shouldn't be a problem. I have adored people who have more stuffing than I have.

Sometimes I still have pretty violent anorexic periods that last from three months to half a year. The biggest one was two years ago, when I was seventeen. I lost about 25 lbs by not eating during the three summer months. People around me, my parents and friends, started to ask me question's I didn't want to answer. I declined losing wheight on purpose, and even if they didn't believe me they rolled with it, but I was clearly being 'monitored', so to speak. Casually and without too much hassle, asking how was the school food and such things. Most of the time I lied, saying that I had eaten when I hadn't. I threw out food from the fridge, so that they wouldn't be too suspicious.

However, everything stopped on it's own. I stopped lying and started eating more or less normally again, and I have slowly gained back everything I had lost and a bit extra. There has been a few minor relapses, but they don't last long and I don't lose much weight during them.

I wish I just could keep my weight stable, even if the number would be slighlty bigger than average. When I don't starve, I tend to eat everything I can see. I have zero self-control in anything food related.
Fearofsilence Fearofsilence
18-21, F
Jul 17, 2010