Two Families, No Real Relationshps With Either

I was adopted into a family as a teen and have been with them since I was placed with them as an infant  foster child.

I do not have a relationship with my adopted parents and not much of anything with my bio parent ( too caught up in her issues). I will refer to my adopted family as my family and my bio family as my bio family to clear up any confusion.

My adopted mother had a violent temper and she freely used the belt, the wooden spoon and what ever else she could get her hands on. She used guilt and mind games to control us too. None of us left home in a normal way..some quit school and joined the army, some ran away, some had to leave because social workers thought it would be a good idea.  My adopted father was a work aholic who never stopped her or stood up for the children.

In my family they are always competing with each other about who is sickest and worse off and if they can't be sicker of worse off  then your situation is quickly ignored and turned to their problems. The family is so dysfunctional that they tell unbelievable tales that they begin to believe whole heartily themselves. We are not allowed to celebrate and be excited about the birth of our twin boys because my brother's son can not have children. We can not praise someone for their educational success in case it makes our sister who has learning difficulties feel bad.

In my family they have made all  us of be extremely aware of an allergy of one of the in laws and how we should adjust our life when the in law is around because it's so serious but my husband caught the in law eating some of the allergic food" in our kitchen.   We don't even confront our family because they would come up with excuses for the behavior..such as well it's wasn't much or it was not this particular type and so on.

We begin to think we are crazy because what they say and what reality tells us would be a natural occurrence never seems to jive for them.

The one sister is an out and out drama queen who my mom says she never thought she would live to 30. No reason why.

We have been told that we are not allowed to contact our nephew because of major security reasons..won't say who are after him but we should never mention the nephew on our family  website due to the security issues  that they can not state.

When my niece passed away I mentioned on our family  website that our family mourned the loss of our niece. OMG! you would have thought I had committed the most heinous crime in the history of the world. I was sent horrible emails about what a bad person I was for mentioning to the whole world about the passing of our niece (please be aware that there was an on line Obituary guest book for my niece that anyone could find by typing in my nieces' name in a search engine). That could not be said for my family website.

It was mostly because I did not talk to my sister or brother or parents much that they decided to look for a way to attack me. The attacks were horrible and I ended up blocking them from my phone number and email.  During this time I kinda thought my parents weren't aware of what my siblings were doing to me but later on when my parents wrote me a nasty letter too and then  I realized they were well aware of the horrible behavior. My whole family came completely apart and some of us have nothing to do with our parents or other siblings.

I have a brother and a sister and I consider them and their children my family. We provide for each other what our parents don't.....love and acceptance without the sickness.

CrystalMessenger CrystalMessenger
46-50
Mar 8, 2009