I Really Just Want A Friend.
I mean, I have "friends" but it seems like I don't. What even is the definition of a friend? And why does it seem like everyone around me has great friendships but I'm here like I talk to my "best" friends once a month/every few months? I dont know. And I'm surrounded by church people who are my "friends" but reality is, if I didn't go to church with them they wouldn't even give me the time of day. It's sad.. I misss being the "popular" girl. When I ruled the school and everyone knew and liked me. Now, i'd be lucky if someone even remembered my name after I told them it was Kimberly about 10 times after being reintroduced each. I guess this is partially my fault though, isolating myself even further when I noticed friends pushing away.. pulling out before I could be more hurt. But what is that? How did I come to the decison to do that? And why does it hurt so mucch when I'm the one that caused it? I really wish I had a friend. Someone I could talk to about this. But I don't. Because I suck.