I Am Dying Of Loneliness
I'm 36 and I have five kids. I have been married since 17. My husband hated every single friend I ever had and he'd keep putting them down until I stopped hanging out with them or they stopped coming around or I just stopped trusting them and we drifted apart. He treated me like garbage so whenever anyone did come around us they would make me feel so bad by pointing out things they saw that time after time, I got rid of them so I could not have to face my reality. I am now divorcing from him and I don't have any real friends.
I have three good friends but none of them live close to me and they have their own lives and problems where I can't lean on them.
I feel like I repulse people. Noone calls me and if I call someone they don't call me back. Even my own sister that I found after 20 years just doesn't answer my emails or phone calls. I don't know why people don't like me or how I can change.