Why Do People With Kids Try To Make People Without Feel Like Mutants?

I am nearly 30, in a commited and happy relationship and we dont have kids. My feeling on that is THANK GOD, yet I am constantly having to justify my decision. People with kids seem so uncomfortable or even offended when I say that I dont intend to have children. They act horrified, as if choosing not to procreate makes me a freak. Do the rest of you get the same reaction? Those who choose to have kids have made their choice and I'm happy for them. If that's what you want, good job. But if I dont want children why is it that people feel that it is somehow their buisiness to convince me Im making a huge mistake? I certainly dont say that to them, despite the fact that I personally think having children sounds...well...not great.  I am beginning to think that people with kids are really jealous of those of us who don't. They miss their freedom, they miss their independence and they miss their money! I am realizing that when they try to convince me that having kids is the greatest thing on earth, they are just trying to convince themselves that they did the right thing and that they actually ENJOY the grape jelly on the white couch, being woken up 5 times a night, and  and not taking that holiday because they are saving for a $100,000 education for 4 kids.

devilinthedetails devilinthedetails
6 Responses Feb 21, 2010

Amen! :)

They hate our freedom and independence. They hate our extra time for sleep and self enjoyment. They hate our quiet home life and quiet neighborhoods without broken windows, screaming, running into the street, or being able to park your car on the street without fear of kids on bikes hitting it.
They hate that we have more money and don't have to buy extra insurance.

But they LOVE that they have a built in excuse for leaving work early and leaving other co-workers to take up their slack because, "Wendy has a doctor appointment," or, "The sitter needs to go home." And they'll complain that they don't make as much money as a childless worker who is able to give 100% to the job.

Don't hire women.
Go Green. Don't have kids.
Have dogs instead. Their time is short, but they'll love you for all time.

It sounds like not having kids would be far more rewarding than having them. Maybe the people who do have them but believe it's wrong when others don't, must think that willingly not having kids is sinful or something.

Devil...I think you have hit the nail on the head, so to speak. They need to convince themselves. <br />
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It is not only in the area of whether or not to have children. People are just that way. Why is it so hard to allow each one to make their own choices without feeling a need to judge or to defend one's self? If each person would simply choose to "live and let live" the world would be a happier place. Unfortunately, we all have our issues, our insecurities, etc.<br />
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They also may feel that in choosing not to have children, you must be judging them. I think that feeling that way is instinctive. Whenever someone does differently than you, the implication is that their way is better.<br />
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Smacky...I'm just curious how many "crazy people" you know sqeezing out 5 - 10 kids each? <br />
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BTW, I have six kids. :-) And if I had it to do over again...........................................

My husband and I tried to have kids, but it just never happened. It actually makes me a little sad when people ask "are you guys ever gonna have kids" and I have to answer "we tried." Makes them uncomfortable, too, but it seem such a personal question to ask someone. By my age (39), you either have kids or you don't want them or can't have them. It's strange to me that people feel it's light conversation to ask about it.<br />
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It does feel like we live in a child-focused world with a collective belief that if you don't have kids, there's something wrong with you. I do enjoy weekend lie-ins and not having to cart my offspring all over town. My life is such that I am glad to be unencumbered now. If I'd been able to have kids, I would be sooooo worn out right now and probably still working a job I don't enjoy instead of going to school to pursue my dreams. :) Also, with crazy people squeezing out 5-10 kids each, it would be environmentally irresponsible for me to procreate, too!

I guess everyone has their reasons. When I was younger and married to my first wife, I generally received the same reaction. The same people who thought of myself and my wife as freaks, also believed women belonged 'barefoot, in the kitchen or in bed'. <br />
I was further thought as a freak because I had a vasectomy performed at a relatively young age rather my wife have a tubal ligation. Go figure!<br />