More Comfortable With Men

I grew up in a rural area where the houses were not very close together. My one and only friend who lived through the woods behind my house was a boy named Teddy. I remember being quite young (Not in Kindergarten yet) when I first met him. I was so excited to have someone to play with that it didn't matter he was a boy. My sister was three years younger and not much of a playmate yet and he was my age. We spent every waking moment together, outside on the swing set, looking for adventure in the woods and riding bikes. I think this is where my comfort zone started.

As I grew older, I had friends that were girls in school but felt like I didn't connect with them the same. I remember my first day of school, when the boys told me to go play with the dolls and to get away from their building blocks. I was hurt that they didn't include me in their group.

Once in the middle school, I had one girl friend who treated me badly. I put up with her abuse only because I felt I had to in order to be accepted. At recess, I would chase the boys around and butt into the football games. The boys started to accept me as one of the gang.

Once to high school, most of my friends were boys. I had one or two girl friends who I'd hang out with at dances or go to the mall with. We talked about boys, dating and clothes and all that normal teen stuff. It seemed a lot of the girls saw me as a threat though. I spent a lot of time with the boys, some of them had girlfriends. If a girl hung around your boyfriend a lot wouldn't you worry? It didn't seem to matter if I had a boyfriend of not. I was always getting dirty looks.

Now as an adult, I look back. I have gone through so many jobs where getting along with the women in the office made my life miserable. I have had a few jobs where I worked in a male dominated industry and loved it. Although my best friend is no longer Teddy from the old neighborhood, I do keep in touch with him. My new best friend is also a man. It took my husband a little getting used to but now he isn't threatened at all.  I still have more male friends than women and still feel awkward trying to make new girl friends.

Funny how one small piece of your childhood can form your life in such a large way. I can't say that I regret the way I grew up. I had a wonderful childhood. It's just sometimes,...I wish I had a best girl friend. Someone to do girly things with.



emptyheart emptyheart
41-45, F
1 Response Feb 12, 2009

Most of my friends are women. Men are OK to play golf with but nothing beats the buzz of the opposite sex.