No More Drama!

At the moment I have one close female friend. We are able to talk about what we love most, literature, and about our everyday problems. She understands me the way I understand her because we live very similar lives. Both of us are single and since her family believes in arranged marriages --guys, dating, sex, etc. are topics we rarely discuss.

The main problem with female friendships is competition. Girls compete for friends, for power, for guys, for clothes, rights to complain, etc. Once girls fight, it's a fight for life. There are exceptions, but once there is bad blood between two chicks, it's going to take a miracle for them to go back to normal.

The problem I always had with female friends was pressure to be the protectress/shoulder to cry on without getting anything much in return. I would listen to stories about abusive boyfriends, abusive parents, stupid teachers, annoying bosses, etc. and then I would get stuck getting a Christmas gift 3 months after the fact. My feelings would be forgotten (she won't mind if I'm an hour late, she's my best friend!), I would be suspected of stealing the obnoxious boyfriend, or I would be gossipped about if I said the slightest unexpected comment.

The whole notion that *she* could have mood swings and "get mad" and all this crap was nonsense to me. I realized I didn't need a "wing-woman," that I could go out on my own and live my life my way without being subject to a girl's dramatic mood swings.

Having a close female friend is a great experience and I am not condemning it. However, in my opinion it is only healthy if the girls are happy with themselves and not looking for a psychologist. It also helps if they are on the same level of appearance (don't hate me for saying it, but it's true), and they have many characteristcs which keep their friendship alive.

There's no point in keeping drama queens around. Flick them and find one girl who's worth the time and trouble you'll unconditionally get in return.

chancesbreathe chancesbreathe
22-25, F
4 Responses Mar 24, 2009

I only have one female friend as well but I have 2 best guy friends 1guy friend and my boyfriend

I just flashed back to my 300 student high school.<br />
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The cliques the girls ran with were almost exclusively segregated by appearance :|<br />
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And the deviations were made up for by effort/energy put into appearance.

I couldn't agree with you more! You were able to expresss in words the way I feel.

Well said. The only female friends I have are my sister and my daughter, well they're family even, not really friends. All my friends are guys, ex boyfriends.