I Feel Like My Head Doesn't Work. I Don't Think. I Can't Even Respond To A Simple Question My Therapist Asks.

I don't know if someone feels the same, but I have never seen someone like me before.  When my therapist asks me simple questions, I can't think about an anwer. Yesterday, he asked my what is the best word you've ever heard and what is the best and worst situations you've been through., I couldn't come up with something!!!  . When I set with some of my friends, I don't say a word and i don't know why. Even when I do noone cares about what I say. I feel that they let me sit with them cause they feel sorry for me...  and the list goes on and on.

I've been always a weird person since i was young. I'm 20 years old now. I feel lonely, depressed, anxious, afraid, worthless and lost. Even when I go seek for help, I end up feeling worse when I find out that I don't have any personality or opinion. Everyday at college is a strugle for me. When I see everyone around me is living his life and happy, when I see them come up with new ideas and go forward while I'm always going backwark. I just feel worse. I always wish i were someone else cause frankly I don't see how this could change. I've tried so many times, I went to psychratrists, therapists but the more I try, the worse I get cause every time i become sure that noone changes. t

I just don't kow what to do. I don't find anyone to talk to. I've given up on every dream that I had. My hope to have a relationship, friends.job,everthing and seriously I don't know where I'm going with all that

up123 up123
18-21, F
3 Responses May 18, 2010

The problem is that when I try to accept myself like that, I go to college everyday and I see how much I'm missing. I imagine how my life could have been if I was....well,.. normal. I'm just tired of seeing so many opportunities get out of my hand. What makes it worse is that I choose to get into the college of pharmacy that I always wanted to be into. It is not easy everyday when i see the creative people around me and realizing how stupid I'm am

I feel the same way almost everyday of my life. It's like I have this fog over my mind that just makes it hard to even formulate ANY kind of coherent thought to other people. Like you said when your therapist asked you a question to "make you think" and you couldn't come up with anything, it's like that with me for EVERYTHING. It's like my mind is too "lazy" to think of anything creative or imaginative or unusual, so I pretty much go through life shrugging my shoulder and saying "eh, whatever" whenever someone asks me for my opinion. Mind you, a lot of this has come from a lifetime of seemingly ALWAYS making the wrong decisions and ALWAYS being wrong in my thought processes, so I now don't even bother to try to "think" about really anything anymore. It's very depressing and makes me feel even more worthless because I feel I have nothing of substance to contribute, because...well...I don't.

oh my friend... i can relate to you. i am also a bit socially awkward... it's really hard sometimes. and i also feel depressed, anxious, afraid, worthless and lost sometimes... i wonder if most people do or if this is unusual? just know... that there's someone out there who understands you... and don't give up hope for a brighter future. things can always change in ways you dont expect. one important thing is to still respect yourself... please dont go mess around with drugs or do stupid things like have unprotected sex cause you dont care about yourself... i made this mistake and i regret it so much. just continue to treat yourself right... and you can come out of this. don't hurt yourself, or throw your life around.... things will just become worse. ok?