Whats Next For Me?

I had a miscarriage, then surgery, cancer, now I'm in my 2nd month of chemo. All within the last 4 months. I had a boyfriend but during this time up until tonight. He left all he said was "I love you but maybe we should focus on our own challenges". This whole time I've been alone fighting this and dealing w the loss of the baby. He never supported me in anyway. But I guess me crying and feeling emotionally, mentally and physically drained is too much so instead of trying to accomodate me or listen, he rather bail on me. I'm left feeling nothing. I cried after I received the text tonight but now I feel nothing. Not even my body hurting from the chemo. I guess I'm numb? I guess tomarrow the pain will flood. Well I cried hard which must have made him leave because Saturday I just received my first treatment of radiology. I take chemo shots under the muscle but this is the first time w radiology. That's why I cried. But like I said tonight he left me because its "too much" I hope his "challenges" are not as hard and painful as mine. I can't help but wonder "what's next for me?" I'm sorry if it don't make sense I'm very exhausted.
angelkast angelkast
1 Response Jul 26, 2010

hello :) yes you have gone through a lot, clearly! but do you think crying over spilled milk would make things easier? you gotta buck up. you need to be strong. sometimes people dont have much help, but you GOTTA face it. you gotta be strong for yourself. he will come back to you if he truly cares for you. but until then, move on. especially at a time like this, you cannot think "its over for me...can life get any worse?" instead "i have taken enough ****, so bring it on" <br />
TC and get well soon!