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I Wish I Had Known

I wish I had known how, and that I had the strength to ask for help, but I didn't. I would chicken out or avoid certain situations.

My act didnt hold up for long...eventually a professor noticed, and they got a hold of a counselor at the college...

My friends it was NOT a fun experience. Having the cops show up at your door with the counselor, and being dragged to the ER in the back of a cop car, NOT FUN.

Worse was being in a holding cell at the ER and being "interogated" for 7 hours; very tiring. I think I walked out in a worse state than I went in.

Now I have a crisis line call me every day, twice a day, all because a professor found I had severe depression....

One LONG, UGLY road...go for help before they get a hold of you; it's better to go quietly, then be falsely listed as suicidal. All as a procaution...

I wish I had known how to ask, and I wish I hadnt put it off for so long.

FastLaneC3 FastLaneC3 18-21, F 26 Responses May 4, 2009

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some just suck that bad or get off on it <br />
<br />
lucky for me i have always been able to keep them at arms length

I agree. I had a burning feeling that it wasnt a good idea. They only screw around with your mind because they get paid big bucks to do it.

to say nothing of thery made half the mess and rip open old wounds thinking thats a good thing and do it so coldly it causes more damage <br />
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and that is why therapy should be avoided like the plague

Its true what you say Tulick ... they mess with your mind and send you home with no support... unless you count a phone number...which I dont... they leave you to clean up your own mess you call a life...

read my story in i wtk do you need therapy- its worse than just that

Why would you call it not living. I mean yeah, the therapy is bullshit, and they are just a bunch of over educated big mouths ... ok yeah, its not living

if you call that living

Oh I know what its like , I've been there. I was in therapy when I was child. But I would rather try, then give up. If I give up now, I'll just kill myself, but at least this help is giving me more days to live.

read my story in i wtk do you need therapy then check out the stories of those right here at ep who are in therapy seeing a shrink or been to a mental hospital <br />
<br />
you'll see what i'm talking about

I thought about it but I was coming down from a really, really bad high and fighting when you arent able to stablize your own body, doesnt realllly work well.<br />
But man, when they told me they were on their way over, I was freaking out! I thought about bailing, but there's a police station EXTREMELY close to my apartment complex so the area is swarming with police. Thankfully the police they sent were all the way from the college area (other side of town) it at least gave me time to panic haha.

I did get help, very good help in fact. The college provides my transportation to and from appointments. They provide at home counseling, so I dont have to leave the comfort of my place. <br />
It doesnt matter what college your at, your problems follow you.<br />
Unless the college caused all your depression, moving else where wont change much.

it may be extreame but it isn't childish <br />
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and you assume help is what you'll get

Yeah but its no reason for me to up and change colleges... thats a little extreme and childish ... if this college offers me help, then I'll take it

but the psychological amitures can be

Yeah, I can't really just drop out of a college, pick up, and move to another one. I like my friends and professors there. Just because Im not happy with something, doesnt mean I should run from it...at least not run away from something that isnt the problem...the college cant be to blame.

change schools

I try, but they're crawling all over the college

stay away from thoe types at all costs

Professors know something is wrong, when their students dont perform in class as well, stop going to classes, look sick, and dont look/sound happy. Thats what they told me anyways and besides, I had to admit to unhappiness to my professor otherwise I would have been booted out of the program, which would have made things worse. <br />
And yes, if you are seen as being suicidal and you dont sign yourself into the hospital, the counselor has a right to call the police and have you taken/removed to the ER. If you refuse to go, then you can be arrested (at least in Canada). <br />
And yes, my professor did have some form of psychology background, and as well one of my former bosses was in social work, and he had an idea something was wrong with me.

I can relate a bit. For me, asking for help was giving someone else control of my life. That was a scary proposition. I guess when I thought about it though, if I was ready to give up my own life, it was easier to give it to someone else to manage.<br />
What ended up happing was the counselor somehow gave me the power to be in control.

Exactly what I thought...well days after it happened anyways...not at the time...not an enjoyable experience!

it can be scary asking for help because u might be afraid you won't get the help u need. Try to ask someone that is reliable and trustworthy. Even if you were taken away in the back of a cop car, at least u r still alive and that is better and the other alternative. Keep asking for help when u need it.

and how did the professor find out unless he/she had a degree in psych there was no way <br />
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and no one should have been hauling you alwy in a cop car

So true Tulick

lie to the morons and change schools and never let counselors get that close

At least you are getting the help you need...<br />
<br />
That's the important part...<br />
<br />
Take care