Hello I Need Some Help
This is something I have always had trouble with. From asking for a simple helping hand, to a heartwrentching plea.
I still don't know why one little word can be so hard to say. Maybe part of it is admiting that there is a problem in the first place. Like I am failing in some way, not being a strong person who can handle life.
When I need help around the house, I wait until I really need it before asking. Which is just so silly, why not let everyone know that this is their house too, and their mess....help clean it! I am not superwoman, but I think sometimes I would like to be. Capable, and incredibly able.
When I have my bouts of depression the last thing I ask for is, help. I secretly wish that someone could see that I am not well, and just take over. But yet again I don't ask for help. Maybe it is insecurity about who I am, and the perception people already have of me. That I am more than capable, confident, and strong able to do anything.
What a good pretending act I have done. So much so, that now I feel there is no way of finding the door marked help.
Maybe I need to make a badge that says "hello I need some help" and then I could wear it for those times, I just cant bring myself to say it.