Life After Abuse

I was also abused in a 11 year marriage and have two great kids from that time. I have been hiding behind my kids, work, college. I managed to get my bachelor's degree with an online university. I've been divorced for over 6 years. A few nice men have asked me out, but I chicken out or find something wrong or hide behind my kids and say they really need me. I actually signed up with an online dating and met a nice guy. He asked me out and we were set to go out to a nice resturant. But a few days before the date said something I thought would most likely not like (pretty much trying to find out if he was a criminal, etc) and I haven't heard from him since. Before and after that happened I couldn't sleep much and I started feeling like a zombie. I was terrified to get into a new relationship and overreacted to some things he said. After looking at everything he wrote after he started writing I see that he did nothing wrong. My ex was extremely manipulative and beat me several times. I don't know how to just have a normal conversation with someone I like without thinking I'm going to get beat again. I've been to counseling but all they could say is I'm strong for getting out of the abusive relationship and I was just there to have someone to talk to. Does anyone have advise of how to talk to a nice guy without freaking out that I said something wrong and worrying that he'll get back at me (even though at that point I said nothing wrong) or puposely sabotaging the possible relationship because I'm terrified to maybe get hurt.

michlhi michlhi
1 Response Aug 11, 2010

Hope you're doing better now. You wrote this on my birthday :) I think that brought you good luck.