Lately, I've been so confused. Confused about my life: how's it going to turn out in the future or how am going to live without no one. I am 30 and single and have not been to a relationship for almost 3 years. It's crazy how I survived when most of the people around me seems to care so much about their status. Me? I don't really care. No bad memories...no abused past...but gotten hurt? yes, a few I may say. However, that is not my point. Most of my life, I have been trying to figure out why I can't find the man or I can't make it through a serious relationship. I haven't got a chance to really commit to someone and honestly, not one single guy tried to pass the courting stage. At least, no one asks. I often ask myself, is it me? what did I do to be deprived such experience? pretty pathetic but am I not entitled to have one. I am really confused how I ended with no one at all? Am I ugly? these are just basic questions I often asked but I have more tucked inside afraid of asking it or maybe, I am just not ready to commit or better yet, scared to commit into a serious relationship...who knows, that might be the answer? I don't even want to think about it.