Confused

Lately, I've been so confused.  Confused about my life: how's it going to turn out in the future or how am going to live without no one.  I am 30 and single and have not been to a relationship for almost 3 years.  It's crazy how I survived when most of the people around me seems to care so much about their status.  Me? I don't really care.  No bad memories...no abused past...but gotten hurt? yes, a few I may say.  However, that is not my point.  Most of my life, I have been trying to figure out why I can't find the man or I can't make it through a serious relationship.  I haven't got a chance to really commit to someone and honestly, not one single guy tried to pass the courting stage.  At least, no one asks.  I often ask myself, is it me? what did I do to be deprived such experience? pretty pathetic but am I not entitled to have one.  I am really confused how I ended with no one at all? Am I ugly?  these are just basic questions I often asked but I have more tucked inside afraid of asking it or maybe, I am just not ready to commit or better yet, scared to commit into a serious relationship...who knows, that might be the answer? I don't even want to think about it.