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Seperation

I can't deal with me and my husband splitting up, I just can't. I know these things take time but I honestly feel that I'll never get over this, I'll never be strong again or stop loving him, and yet I hate him for making me feel this way - even though it was me that ended it! It's just all so messed up and now he's playing with my emotions and I'm allowing it. He's been round a few times for sex, which  I didn't mind so much because at least we weren't getting it else where, but one day he's telling me he loves me and the next he refuses point blank to talk to me - WTF is up with that?! Then of course I lose it and start acting the ***** to hurt him because he's hurt me *sigh* No wonder our marriage didn't work we're like two children playing games being nasty and spiteful to one another. I never thought it would hurt this much. Although if I'm honest I think a lot of it is fear of the future and not the loss of him. I have no where to move to and stuff and I think if I did have somewhere to go then I would feel more secure and content.

AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 31, 2008

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you cant deal with your feelings by running. you are out of control of yourself. you control how you feel and behave, not him. sex will never bring your relationship back. make your own path in life and end your suffering.

i know how you feel , mind games, i wanted our seperation as he was just so unreasonable and taking no resbonsability, i love him and know he loves me , but 9 months later its so hard to work out how we came to this , he blames me for all he cant or wont see he as doing NO wronge , its got to the stage i cant see it ever working out, he loves me he says , but he wont try to sort us out , he has he says i know what to do WHAT i dont know , he says he is not changing as he did no wronge , he did, he says he loves us , but he has done NOTHING to try to get back . he dosint go out he works all the time he looks awfull , he is allways so happy to see me but WHY will he not show it or do anything ,