It's Only Been A Week...

a week ago today the love of my life was deployed, and in 12 days we will be celebrating our 6 month anniversary apart :(.... now i thought i knew what i was getting into but boy was i wrong. i knew it would be tough but i had no idea it would be this hard. the first day i was completely numb and had this aching empty hole in my chest as if my heart had bored the bus with him and left.. i cried all day going back home was so hard for his clothes from that night were on the floor by the bed i picked them up and cried my eyes out.. wishing that i could have gone with him or to just have him walk through that door and smile at me one more time saying i love you.. it's been so hard and it's only been a week; i find myself not wanting to eat or sleep.. i've cried myself to sleep everynight so far.. during the day i'm fine as i keep myself busy and preoccuppied with school and family and friends, but at night when i lay in bed alone it kills me to know that my boyfriend is out there in harms way where i can't keep him safe or hold or tell him i love him.. it's the little things i miss the most.. but i've been lucky enough to talk to him twice this week, and no matter how bad my day is or how emotionally drained i am from worring about him and missing him i still manage to tell him im doing good and i miss him and cant wait for him to come home.. am i doing the right thing by concealing my true emotinos on this?? he keeps telling me to share what im going through and if im having a bad day to vent but it doesnt feel right so i'm pretending to be happy for him while in other words be strong for him.. am i doing the right thing here??!??