I Dont Know How to Deal With the World 1.

 I dont know how to deal with the world, when I go to work every day I see people abusing other people, I see it on tv and hear it, everyone screwing everyone else.  I used to feel suicidal about things, but that slowly dissolved as I had less and less value for my own existence.  I feel like there's no hope, even in death.

I dont feel comfortable around other people, I dont understand them or how they can value such petty things so much.  What should I think when I see a soccer mom cut someone off in traffic, almost killing someone on a motorcycle because shes talking on her cellphone or screaming at the kids.  Everyone seems totally braindead.. turned into selfish zombies.

The only place I seem to be able to be free is when Im asleep, dreaming.  My dreams seem to be becoming more real and more interesting to me than the world around me.  Im not sure how Im supposed to be interacting with the world anymore, and its getting harder and harder to care.  I used to hold onto the idea that love would somehow fix things, making it worthwhile, but the more time passes the less I think I would be any good for anyone I would be with, and so very few people seem like any kind of a match.

I know what Ive written is discombobulated and probably doesnt make much sense, but.. halp!  what do I do?

zorndyke zorndyke
26-30, M
7 Responses Feb 10, 2009

"If you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." -Lincoln<br />
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I love this quote. It is often difficult to see the good in people, but look hard for it, focus on it, even if you have to create it.

I totally Understand what you are speaking about. I too dont know how to deal with the world. Its like evryone is so settled. I hate seeing people cry and i Hat seeing two faced people. Why will you scream at your kids and make then tear and minutes later infront of your boss or neighbors you say you love them? I dont understand much about the world. becaus ei dont want to. Finally. Theres someone who gets me in this world. and thats you.... Keep in touch.

You'll never defeat it. The world is filled with many ******** beyhond fixing. They have taken a thing of beauty and twisted it to their own selfish desires and nasty fixations. But, there is still ALOT of good here. <br />
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I know why you're writing--because this really bothers you and writing is the best outlet, I think, for getting it all out. It helps sometimes to think out loud. I consider EP the best therapy I've ever had and trust me, I've had alot. And it's free here :) <br />
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Anyway, I guess I just want to say, that I agree with what the others said. And that is the only thing you can really do. One person can make a difference, but it is unrealistic to think that one person alone can ever destroy all the 'evil' in the world. It's a sad ugly truth. You will have to accept, adapt and distract. I have a few guilty pleasures that keep me focused away from problems. They don't always work though...<br />
I like to read. I get really involved in the book. I watch something interesting to take my mind off things. Comedy helps alot. Go watch 'Trainspotting' or another comedy. (It's got a tad bit drama. not much) That always helps me. Been watching alot of George Carlin clips on the net lately. Helps alot to laugh for a change. Appreciating the natural world helps you to see the beauty still here. Good meds helps me too... :)<br />
But, the best destroyer of sorrow is looking into my son's face. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen is his smile. His laugh intoxicates me. Everything I do and every reason I am here, is to see his smile.<br />
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Awww. Sorry for getting sappy there. Damn women! :)Anyway, <br />
I know how you feel and I hope you acquire peace with it. Take care.

Thanks for the comments.. I also like most every anime movie from miyazaki, especially castle in the sky and nausicaa. Unfortunately theres no getting away from remembering how everyone in the world seems to be out to take advantage of everyone else, at least for me. It almost seems more horrifying to me to try to ignore whats going on around me, as if ignoring it trivializes the suffering of everyone. And no, not everyone is a bad person, though I wish they were. Then at least it wouldnt matter if everyone abused everyone else.<br />
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Its hard to describe things and feelings with words, the meaning feels like its been drained out of them by society. They seem like plastic happy meal toys compared to the real thoughts behind them. It feels like trying to cram an idea into a mold that just doesnt fit, being horrified at the mangled thing that actually gets written down.<br />
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I do try to help though, Im usually painfully nice, though not as much anymore. People tell me that I should volunteer at whatever organization to help do something but I know it won't really do anything, that its just a bandaid, and Ill always know that its just really a way to make myself feel less guilty.<br />
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I dont really know why Im writing, I dont like attention or praise or sympathy that much, at least I just dont understand it.

I hear you. I've come to the point where most of the time I just say "**** it." Also, I do not allow myself to get close to people. Though not everyone is a bad person, the world does have more than its share of a-holes.

Your words could have been written by one of my dearest friends (my point being, you aren't the only one who thinks and feels this way). Everyone needs an escape or a hobby to forget about all the horrible things in the world. The trick is, though, don't turn to sleep all the time because it's not real. Try something else like reading or exercise. There is boundless good in the world, but unfortunately it doesn't sell newspapers or tv air time. But it is there if you're open to it and look for it. You can only be responsible for your own actions, so while the soccer mom cuts someone off in traffic, maybe you could stop and let someone out into traffic?<br />
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Hang in there.

There is nothing you can really do. But, I do understand what you are writing and feel at times, that way myself. <br />
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The only thing you can do is to concentrate on what is important to you. You can never rid the world of ******** no matter what you do. So, just try to focus on yourself and the good things that do exist if you look. <br />
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The world makes me sick at times and other times, when I see the beauty of it, it makes me want to cry. <br />
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Try not to pay attention to the negativity. Focus on the positive. There is much of it to be experienced. Peace.