Why Continue to Suffer With An Illness That Will Never Go Away?

I have suffered from depression since I was six years old. I have been in group therapy, done years of pschotherapy, tried over 50 medications and been in hospital many times. I don't think that the medical community really understands mental illness. I do not think it is just a chemical imbalance - not just a matter of finding the right meds. I have also tried cognitive therapy, meditation, prayer, yoga - you name it. Why should I continue to suffer and put those close to me thru utter hell. I have recently found a method to take my life that would work. I don't believe in religion and I figure if there is a hell it is right here on earth. I hate myself and I really think it's time to give up.
francois francois
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 21, 2007

As im reading your story i have tears streaming down my face, i know only too well that the pain you are feeling is very real, i wish i could help you, i wish i knew the answers and what to tell you, but im afraid i dont, all i do know is you really are not alone in how you feel, so please take some comfort in that and try to hold on, if being here and sharing your feelings can help just one other person, then that has to be something GOOD, and in return that makes you a good person and a MUCH needed person.....together we can become stronger, we have to believe that !!