Never Loved

I am that guy.... I am the class clown, loved my all, joke with many, have friends (shallow friends) of both sexes, been married to the same person for almost 35 years, never cheated, yet... with all of that never truly loved. I have 5 kids, and yes I love them all, would give them everything I have, but.. I reserve the deepest most inner part of me to only me. I don't share with anyone. The triviality of my existence ****** me off. My own family, parents, children everyone I know see a "me" that has been created to make sure I am not truly discovered. Wow, depressing when I think about it... I have a job I enjoy, co-workers that are fun to work with, career is no problem, but... when all is said and done, the motorcycle in the garage, the wife doing her thing, me doing mine... the hole inside of me, like the one possesed by every human, designed to be filled completely by another human is empty. How does one really change the way it all works.
sunmural sunmural
56-60, M
2 Responses May 31, 2012

i know wut you mean. but i love my cat, and i know that is shallow. were different but yet the same.

only u can make you happy, only u can change you, only you have to live with you... Do sum research on any questons about life on the internet... Thats how I found this post you left..Trying to figure out "How to..."............You will learn and grow and things might become more clearly on different levels and views.... And last from me to you PRAY.. Talk with God... Have your own personal relationship with him!..