Sex.

I find it hard to say no to sex. Especially when he come across as nice (that's manipulation methinks). And I'm a nice person, or want to seem nice, so I give in and go all out--bondage, anal, pretty much anything within my squick boundaries.

Don't enjoy it much, other than the closeness I get with people. And each time it ends, I feel used.

And I'm like, what's so wrong with me that you don't like me enough to want to be with me? (selfish but true)

That's because they don't mean these to be more than one-off occurrances.  And in some ways, neither did I, but somehow, Í've left something of me with them, and this diminishing feeling is very real and very scary.

I should stop this, set concrete emotional (and not just squick) boundaries.

But how. 

Seemingly offending people feels like pure and utter crap, so much that Í'd rather offend myself.

justlikeyou justlikeyou
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 19, 2009

hey cheer up girl.. <br />
i'm from around where u are .. i understand where u coming from.. how u feeling..<br />
remember only do it if u want it. if not, just say no. even if its the guy u like, but u have no mood or just do not wana do it. then say no. sex must be both ways... remember tat.. <br />
<br />
ps add me to ur circle ya!

well some time's this could before the best if you feel used . but if your not getting any thing from it and none of it feel's good . i would fine someone that like's the same thing as i did .your no dought game fore any thing and that should count to some one ok. goode luck chocjoe2