Fear of Not Being Liked

When I first start a new job,meet a new neighbor,talk on the phone to a new call back sales or anybody,I like to give them the benefit of the doubt.I will put up and agree with them and make them feel like everything is cool.When it starts to effect my life or something unfair or I'm being taken advantage of or it effects my job,then I will kinda hint what they are saying is getting on my nerves.If they keep it up.Then still in a nice way only more blunt, no I don't think so,if you want me to explain in more detail I will.When it's time and I"m finished I will kindly say, I'm so glad we got things cleared up, bye now.


I have had things hurt me for years, all it is we are afraid if we show are true colors, they won't like us or walk out.The truth is they will like us better and respect us more also in the mean time,so much less stress.Being your self is true living!

trails trails
56-60, F
4 Responses Apr 13, 2009

I like the person that lives inside of you.


The benefit of the doubt is a way to give confidence to someone you don't know. This approach is normal because the partner in front of us can easily hide his emotions and / or its truths. This is a precautionary approach in a world where money and profit the king and where some will stop at nothing to deceive their fellow men.<br />
It's a way of avoiding future concerns. But after this experience, if positive, the doubt is replaced by a trust that can not grow.

You are so right.Some people have it so together when speaking up,then there are people like us who worry but after so many years we need to make a change and look to more importan things.

I agree. There are many people who have no problem speaking their mind, I am not one of them. I have to speak from my heart and matters of the heart do tend to be more sensitive, especially when taking the other person's heart into consideration. Saying what needs to be said, gracefully is a learned thing. It takes alot of courage and compassion. And still there is no guarantee that it will satisfy everyone. But if you say it and mean it then you have betrayed noone. And that could very well be the cure for sleepless nights, wrestling with worry.

You are so right on that one,speaking your mind proves one thing you have been honest with yourself and where that leaves you is up to you to understand,cause most people do not understand unless they are honest with themself.