I just feel awkward when people commpliment me. My inability to deal with commpliments on the way people expect me to has given me a bad reputation.
I just say Thank you and is it. But apparentely people expect you to get REALLY flattered, in a very enthusiastic way and then commpliment them in return O_O
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4 Responses Feb 22, 2012

For a while if someone said "nice [item of clothing]" my usual reply was "Oh, yeah, I think so too!" (Well, that's why I bought the thing after all, and it's not like I made it myself...)<br />
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Took me a while to realise they might just be trying to pay a generic compliment. *facepalm*

Do you know why you have trouble hearing a compliment?<br />
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A simple "thanks" is all the answer needed. If people want you to stroke their egos by gushing, then returning the compliment, they really are only prompting you, not sincerely complimenting.<br />
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Maybe having some stock answers which are truthful would be more useful as responses:<br />
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"Your flattery is appreciated"<br />
"I'm afraid I have trouble believing that"<br />
"Oh, why do you think that?"<br />
"Oh, is that what you think I'm good at? ....Well , thanks"<br />
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I think the most unhelpful "compliments" are where someone says "Oh you're good at singing/writing/dancing.....". as if there was a standard below which you are bad.<br />
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I'd prefer if people said " I enjoyed watching you dance", because it says something about them.<br />
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Maybe reflecting back a compliment as a comment on the other person will satisfy their need to be recognised too:<br />
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"Oh, you play piano so well!"<br />
A: "Do you like classical music - does it make you feel happy?" <br />
A: "Do you play yourself?"<br />
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Just a suggestion - feel free to ignore!

Try to make small remarks just nice to start. Do not make too much right away. A smile, a kind word, a simple remark is already caring learning compliments stronger ●‿●

Some people only compliment others looking for a return compliment. I never do that. When I pay someone a compliment, I am totally sincere, and the most I would like to see it a glimmer of pleasure in the person's eyes. Something that tells me that their day is a bit brighter because of it. Hugs are good too.

Ask for the hug? Yes, I do that. But If I say someone looks great, I say it because I mean it. I don't need to be complimented in return. The only people I look for hugs from are family and [very] close friends. I don't care for being touched by people I don't know well. If someone puts effort into looking good, dressing well, styling their hair; it is nice to hear that it is noticed and appreciated. IMO.