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*blushes*


I just feel awkward when people commpliment me. My inability to deal with commpliments on the way people expect me to has given me a bad reputation.
I just say Thank you and is it. But apparentely people expect you to get REALLY flattered, in a very enthusiastic way and then commpliment them in return O_O
deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Feb 22, 2012

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For a while if someone said "nice [item of clothing]" my usual reply was "Oh, yeah, I think so too!" (Well, that's why I bought the thing after all, and it's not like I made it myself...)



Took me a while to realise they might just be trying to pay a generic compliment. *facepalm*

I don't expect compliments in return, but I wonder if you'd blush if I said I find blushing an attractive feature?!

Well then, "I find blushing an attractive feature!" ;-)

Do you know why you have trouble hearing a compliment?



A simple "thanks" is all the answer needed. If people want you to stroke their egos by gushing, then returning the compliment, they really are only prompting you, not sincerely complimenting.



Maybe having some stock answers which are truthful would be more useful as responses:



"Your flattery is appreciated"

"I'm afraid I have trouble believing that"

"Oh, why do you think that?"

"Oh, is that what you think I'm good at? ....Well , thanks"



I think the most unhelpful "compliments" are where someone says "Oh you're good at singing/writing/dancing.....". as if there was a standard below which you are bad.



I'd prefer if people said " I enjoyed watching you dance", because it says something about them.



Maybe reflecting back a compliment as a comment on the other person will satisfy their need to be recognised too:



"Oh, you play piano so well!"

A: "Do you like classical music - does it make you feel happy?"

A: "Do you play yourself?"



Just a suggestion - feel free to ignore!

Try to make small remarks just nice to start. Do not make too much right away. A smile, a kind word, a simple remark is already caring learning compliments stronger ●‿●

Some people only compliment others looking for a return compliment. I never do that. When I pay someone a compliment, I am totally sincere, and the most I would like to see it a glimmer of pleasure in the person's eyes. Something that tells me that their day is a bit brighter because of it. Hugs are good too.

Ask for the hug? Yes, I do that. But If I say someone looks great, I say it because I mean it. I don't need to be complimented in return. The only people I look for hugs from are family and [very] close friends. I don't care for being touched by people I don't know well. If someone puts effort into looking good, dressing well, styling their hair; it is nice to hear that it is noticed and appreciated. IMO.