I Don't Know How to Take Compliments

blushes

By: ClandestineWishes

Written on February 22nd, 2012

I just feel awkward when people commpliment me. My inability to deal with commpliments on the way people expect me to has given me a bad reputation.
I just say Thank you and is it. But apparentely people expect you to get REALLY flattered, in a very enthusiastic way and then commpliment them in return O_O

By: ClandestineWishes

Age: 18-21

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11 responses

winstonwelles

For a while if someone said "nice [item of clothing]" my usual reply was "Oh, yeah, I think so too!" (Well, that's why I bought the thing after all, and it's not like I made it myself...)

Took me a while to realise they might just be trying to pay a generic compliment. *facepalm*

Jun 29, 2012
1 like
- ClandestineWishes
  LOL!
  
  Jun 29, 2012
  1 like
justmeonline

I don't expect compliments in return, but I wonder if you'd blush if I said I find blushing an attractive feature?!

Mar 16, 2012
1 like
- ClandestineWishes
  I most probably would, lol.
  
  Mar 18, 2012
  1 like
- justmeonline
  Well then, "I find blushing an attractive feature!" ;-)
  
  Mar 18, 2012
  1 like
ProfDavros

Do you know why you have trouble hearing a compliment?

A simple "thanks" is all the answer needed. If people want you to stroke their egos by gushing, then returning the compliment, they really are only prompting you, not sincerely complimenting.

Maybe having some stock answers which are truthful would be more useful as responses:

"Your flattery is appreciated"

"I'm afraid I have trouble believing that"

"Oh, why do you think that?"

"Oh, is that what you think I'm good at? ....Well , thanks"

I think the most unhelpful "compliments" are where someone says "Oh you're good at singing/writing/dancing.....". as if there was a standard below which you are bad.

I'd prefer if people said " I enjoyed watching you dance", because it says something about them.

Maybe reflecting back a compliment as a comment on the other person will satisfy their need to be recognised too:

"Oh, you play piano so well!"

A: "Do you like classical music - does it make you feel happy?"

A: "Do you play yourself?"

Just a suggestion - feel free to ignore!

Feb 23, 2012
1 like
- ClandestineWishes
  Actually I do have a theory on why I have trouble dealing with compliments... but I'm not sure that's all there is.
  I feel most compliments are not really heartfelt. Hence my response being a simple thank you.
  That is a very interesting way to deal with it, very helpful, allows me to be polite without massaging their egos :) Thank you for the suggestion! :)
  
  Feb 23, 2012
  1 like
juliegirlie

Try to make small remarks just nice to start. Do not make too much right away. A smile, a kind word, a simple remark is already caring learning compliments stronger ●‿●

Feb 22, 2012
2 likes
Serenitree

Some people only compliment others looking for a return compliment. I never do that. When I pay someone a compliment, I am totally sincere, and the most I would like to see it a glimmer of pleasure in the person's eyes. Something that tells me that their day is a bit brighter because of it. Hugs are good too.

Feb 22, 2012
1 like
- ClandestineWishes
  It seems so. It would be easier to just ask for it tho.
  :) Seems like a good motive. Oh yes, hugs are much better!
  
  Feb 22, 2012
  1 like
- Serenitree
  Ask for the hug? Yes, I do that. But If I say someone looks great, I say it because I mean it. I don't need to be complimented in return. The only people I look for hugs from are family and [very] close friends. I don't care for being touched by people I don't know well. If someone puts effort into looking good, dressing well, styling their hair; it is nice to hear that it is noticed and appreciated. IMO.
  
  Feb 22, 2012
  1 like

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