I'm terrible at it! I automatically assume that everyone has a negative view of me, and I accept it. It's kind of like having an underdog mentality; I automatically believe that everyone doubts my abilities and worth, only I don't feel like I have to prove anything to anyone because I'm happy with who I am.

Although I have not been diagnosed, I feel that I'm a bit doxophobic (I don't like receiving praise). Being put on a pedestal in someone's eyes or excessively celebrating because I did something right are two things I don't like to have happen to me or do. I've been described as a "trophy boyfriend" a few times in the past, and it has made me feel like a object, a new toy if you will. Much like 90% of the toys we get, we outgrow them, get tired of them, and throw them away quickly, which is exactly what has happened to me (don't feel bad for me; I'm happy that they ended before my heart was taken).

I'm also a victim of positive reciprocity. I feel the want and need to reciprocate people for their positive actions, regardless of whether I know the person and whether I like them. Even if someone direct negative actions towards me, I have to return the favor by directing towards them a positive reaction. It's my nature.

I like being the guy in the background who does the right thing and has an impact but no one notices. To quote the character "God" in the Futurama episode "Godfellas", "When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all." I cannot express how true this is in my life and how much I'm actually happy about it and want it to stay that way. I want to have a positive impact on the world but don't want others to notice it.

I like building others up and showing them the potential they have, unless they're like me and tell me they don't want that (I'm a developer by nature). I don't like getting that treatment myself, and I really don't like bringing attention to myself, or when others direct attention towards me.

I'm only human; I make mistakes. I'm on the same journey as the rest of the human race, regardless of religious beliefs; that is the journey through life on Earth.
JustAnotherHuman34 JustAnotherHuman34
22-25, M
3 Responses May 16, 2014

This was me. I still struggle with this. I do like to fade into the background.

You're a wonderful person.

I have that mentality too x)