ugh! I hate compliments...it always seems like someone is making fun of me or flattering me...you have no idea how much I hate flatterers, they are always up to no good
prettykatey prettykatey
22-25, F
4 Responses Dec 21, 2015

just understand what they are

Well, sure, flattery has always been used to manipulate. On the other hand, something like " I really like talking to you" or, Wow, you were such and amazing cook, baker, piano player. These could be totally legit, compliments meant to tell a friend or whoever that they really are special

that's pretty right

Manipulation is when one person decides i will do abcd to get them to do xyz. This is how compliments and flattery CAN be used. It truly is up to us to learn how to filter genuine compliments from the manipulative ones. Watching a skilled buyer and seller haggle over price, they may smile and laugh because they easily see through overly positive or negative things each is saying about the price and merchandise. They are both confident in their ability to discern the actual value and between the two of them, they arrive at a fair price. They smile because they are having fun, because they are capable and confident. For the average person at some point you simply have to trust your judgement and make a decision or walkaway. I always smile when in Craigslist, I see a line like, "No druggies, jerks, abusers, idiots, alcoholics, etc". Nobody is going to see that and disqualify themselves, you must filter for yourself. Any declaration like the one above are wasted space. So it is with compliments. If it is over the top and untrue, just take that as information about the other person - they are unrealistic, or dishonest. If it is reasonable that the compliment is true, accept it and move on. Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

say 'thank you, ' and mean it. most people are sincere. a few are condescending. a few are trying to get in your pants. give them all the benefit of the doubt. everybody deserves all the compliments they get. you too.

I don't need any compliments from anyone

I don't need them. I do like them, though.

I feel that same way...