I Don't Know How To Tell My Boyfriend I'm Submissive

Tongue Tied...

By: bunny1321

Written on October 25th, 2010

I started therapy and anti depressants a couple of months ago. Stopped taking the meds, and now a bunch of repressed stuff is coming to the surface. A lot of mental and emotional turmoil is happening; I'm talking to my half brother for the first time in a decade (way longer story...), I'm finally comfortable with my sexuality (Bi-sexual, thought everyone liked both until I got made fun of in junior high), trying to deal with my intimacy issues, on top of figuring out "who I am".

A result of me being more open and honest with my boyfriend a lot of kinks are coming to the surface. Every time I try to tell him, I freeze. How can I even begin to talk about this stuff witth him?

By: bunny1321

Age: 26-30 , Female

646 people have read this story

Email:

Username:

Password:

Birthday:

By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.

5 responses

dirtyolddorothy

Hi there, Ive recently had similar problems having just admitted to myself and my long term bf that Im suissive I now have the problem of 'finding my voice" so to speak and actually turning these fantasies into realities. Ive found telling him during foreplay specific things that he already does is an easy way to get the ball rolling - such as "I love it when you spank me/pull my hair/hold me down/are a bit rough with me" then once the ice is broken on voicing preferences it becomes a lot easier. The main thing to remember is; you don't sound stupid! and anything you tell him you like is almost certainly going to turn him on. Men love it when women are dirty and even though it might take him a while to find his voice he will be enjoying hearing what you like. I hope this helps - stay happy x

Oct 14, 2012
1 like
trev23

start with im so horny... and anything else you say will be totally ignored. you will have the relief of getting your personal concerns off your chest and you both get laid win win in my book

Jan 26, 2012
1 like
Tfrank

I'm very late in this discussion - but my girlfriend is submissive but I'm trying to find out how or what she'd like out of me as far as this goes for her enjoyment as well as my own - I'm used to things being on a level playing field. She loves pleasing me etc and I've caught her checking out fetish ****- always with the woman being the submissive.

I'd really love to open up a new arena for our relationship - because the sexual side is the only part that is slightly lagging behind as far as the other aspects of the relationship go. I'm used to being super open and getting those kinks out there to enjoy together, and she's super reserved and still won't go into it. I know that this really holds her back when it comes to anything sexual between us.

Any words of wisdom??? I hope I'm not in the wrong area for this

Sep 22, 2011
1 like
brianbb

Tell him your submissive with him brcause you feel protected and nurtured by him

May 14, 2011
1 like
Mmmcherries

difficult one this ..from experince (mine & other people I know) you've either got that 'special' connection with your partner or you have'nt. and unfort it seems as though you have'nt this is why your freezing when it comes to having an honest conversation.

All I can think is that maybe as well as figuring out who you are - you also need to reflect on your relationship with your BF and put into perspective just what it is you are gaining from it. This will help you better understandits value.

I hope this helps Best Wishes for the future

Cherrie

Mar 30, 2011
1 like

Your Response