Need Both

You must be able to trust in order to love, at least in my opinion. There is always going to be that person that flirts with your other half but be confident enough to trust their judgment. When you begin to question then you need to re-evaluate. I don't mind my better half flirting and I do have jealousy at times but knowing that they'd be coming home to me is when it all comes together.
mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
36-40, F
11 Responses Oct 28, 2007

Couldnt agree more, trust and love are part an parcel of the same thing.

Like I said... we can't always say NO when we never know what this world will bring us. I'd like to try and be a good person and by no means am I perfect, but we do what we need to and make it work. <br />
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Gotta get through life, no set rules here and as long as I'm not killing anyone to do it I guess I'll be ok.

absolutly...and I suppose the only real reference I have on the subject is myself. When i strayed from my marriage it had nothing at all to do with wanting "ice cream with my cake"...by the way that was a cute description....LOL<br />
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It had to do with a friendship that went too far. I had no idea or plans to do such a thing. Was not seeking it at all. yet looking back there was something missing in my marriage that I subconciously thought this person fulfilled.<br />
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Was it right...oh absolutely not! BINGO...on the never going there again.<br />
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I still believe you want another person...either dont go there or get out of the marriage first. Sounds hypocritical doesnt it....well....I went against my own beleifs...the person i let down the most was myself. Learned something.<br />
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my question about the other side of the deal was just that...curious.

Oh I so knew this was going there... LOL And I don't take anything personal... I don't think it's right but I also don't think we can choose who we love. Sometimes the puzzle piece just seems to fit. Unfortuanatly I've found that the married person just wants a little ice cream to add to the cake and they have no plan to actually leave the relationship they so claim is failing. I guess experience had made me both bitter and cautious.

dont take this wrong...it is merely a question. Do you feel being involved with a married person is ok...?

...and I am not judging you.... this is all about me and my opinion. I've had relationships w/ married ppl before too but deep down I just know that I could never marry them. I, personally, would not be able to trust them. Of course life throws things in all the time that we don't expect so we never know; can't be sure about what will happen can we... it's all a learning process and no one is perfect. I don't condem you for your actions nor did I know, it's not really my business, but again it's you and I'm me and that's what makes the world go round. The perfect mix of all different ppl and thoughts.<br />
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SMILE! It's a new day...

It depends MSP....i have made no secret that i had an affair in my past. What is also very true though is that I learned a very hard and very painful lesson from it. It isnt somehing I think is ok to do...and never ever want to go there again!! I would hate it if that bad decision meant no one would ever trust me again.

I could never marry someone like that... someone I met that I knew was cheating. I'd just wonder if they were doing it to me... doesn't mean I wouldn't love them I just would never trust them. It's too hard to have a relationship with that much doubt.

WHY BE WITH SOMEONE IF YORE GONNA CHEAT,just leave but I know it is more complicated sometimes

true... and you can love friends but true love is one that should include trust... I couldn't stay with someone that I didn't trust. If I knew they cheated I might continue to love them but I'd never trust them again. Because of that I couldn't continue... it would never be the same and eventually would fall apart.

well i agree for the most part. There are all forms of love though. I beleive once you love someone you always will. You may not be able to stay in a relationship with someone who betrayed your trust...but I dont believe that necessairly means you stop loving them.