Is Love Real

What is love really? I mean I've had boy/girl friends and I've been married but was I in love? I have had children w/ my ex after the big "D" (how odd is that) but to look at him I don't have an attraction to him. I certainly don't love him... I guess it's just comfort. I feel comfortable with him and that is why we have sex. For no other reason, but that's not love. I have on-line and phone friends that I talk to. I think I have feelings for one/some of them but not love. I would never say I love them... maybe infatuation? The idea of someone wanting/needing to talk to me is very intriguing. The idea that love might someday be an option. But if I don't know what it is then how will I know I've found it. Relationships don't start w/ sex talk do they? Who writes the rules? Are there really rules? I barely know what day it is sometimes and I'm supposed to find happiness and love and understanding. I don't believe in a god so no love there. I love my children if that counts, but that's a different kinda love. I guess I go on alone and just wait. I've always thought that as long as I have a few laughs along the way that I don't need any more... but I may. I may need that love thing to fill this void. I'm kinda tired of being alone and not having someone to share my thoughts with. I would love to have an intelligent conversation with someone, share secrets, accomplishments... hhhmmmmmm guess I'll wait and see if there is someone to love me.
mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality
36-40, F
23 Responses Jun 13, 2007


You're telling my story.

Love is what you make of it.Love is two people working things out.Love is giving and taking.Love is forgiving each other no matter what.Love is working together.Love is not thinking you are better,you two are the same.That is only a few of the things love is,love is beautiful if you know how to form it.You know it takes two hands to form a ball out of something,it takes two people to form love out of life.

"I think it is more our human limitations that suck and not love itself..." Aye Brute tis so. <br />
Sadly so many arent open to it when tis there infront of them. It either means everything or nothing ... Tis a choice.<br />

just because your husband was an @sshole doesn't mean you shouldn't believe in love... although that might make it a bit harder to. i mean lots of people, everybody in fact wants to find love, meet their soul mate..... and lots of people are still searching, but don't give up because you are a wonderful woman and i know there is someone out there that can make you really happy and will help you believe in love again. actually this reminds me of a song called 'way back into love' by Hugh Grant off that movie Music and Lyrics. it's beautiful. go listen to it on youtube. it's awesome. and there are bumpy roads along the way, but you will find it again and it will be sooo worth it!

Marji knows what love is ... I say this because her definition is much like mine ... <br />
<br />
There are many different kinds of love, types of love, and levels and degrees of love. It's elusive, evasive and plain tricy when we want it. It's smothering when we don't. However, when the timing is 'right' and all the moons and stars and planets have lined up (tehehe) it's simply the most wonderful thing you'll ever know ... and my friend, you WILL know - there will be NO doubt.

love is real indeed. some people just feel like that, but when you wrap your arms around it and your eyes light up everytime you see a certain person walk in the room. love is a funny thing. it can drive us nuts, but it is always and will forever be L-O-V-E !!!

OH SM I know depression and you are so there! Smile sweetie!

youre right about the comfortable thing.sometimes i think were still together cause we feel like we need each other.after awhile you let go cause you feel yall got it made but once things aint going good no more its over,cause you never knew each other for awhile

**Cel ~ Thank you!

I suppose when the real thing comes I'll know right? Sometimes infatuation is so strong that it disguises itself as such... then again Karma might be the problem... I'm often told what a _itch I am... maybe I deserve to be alone? Maybe it's meant to be this way? Oh and if it is Karma then I'm sure she'll keep me alive for many years to suffer instead of just letting me go... So many questions so few answers *heavy sigh*

I think it is more our human limitations that suck and not love itself...

Guns N' Roses - Love Sucks<br />
<br />
Love Sucks, ya you know it sux...<br />
All your friends are gay<br />
I hate them any way<br />
Love Sucks, ya you know it sux...<br />
I've tried it once <br />
I won't try it again<br />
Love Sucks, ya you know it sux...<br />
Love Sucks Love Sucks Love Sucks<br />
Love Sucks, ya you know it sux...<br />
Love Sucks, ya you know it sux...<br />
Why can't love make sense?....


Kudos to you Marji... I don't look at ppl for just physical, I must know and love their mind. I've had my share of so called "studs" and maybe the sex was great but that's where it ended. No conversation no go. I need intellectual stimulation as well as sexual and everyone is beautiful... just different kinds. I'm not looking just trying to live so let's see what happens... MMUUAAHH!! to you!

I'm glad you got that thought thru. It was puzzling until you cleared it up. Thanks

What a neutral mix of feelings...and to leave the neutral to the one who doesn't even know if she was or is in love is just to appropriate. You sound great... and intellectual conversations are what inspire to imagine...and have not yee imagination ...may as well have one complete and utter practical and unspent life. I believe you not to feel a void in love where there was never a love before. I also believe in a multitude of loves... and that your twin flame,,,your soul mate,,, your other you is the love to which enables you to understand and maybe feel as though you are standing next to this "almighty god", or near to the highest power "light" if you will. To live life searching may lead to failure and if you don't deal well in failure...don't sure, but be found. I'm running on....True or Not???

I look back on my previous relationships and at the time I thought I was in love but now I wonder if I ever really was. Or maybe it was love but it faded for so long that we can't really remember the love that was once there. So to answer your question how will you know... you will just know. When you love someone you don't have to stop and wonder "Is this love?" If you have to ask, it's not. I have had many infatuations that felt like love; thinking about the person CONSTANTLY and having strong feelings about them, but for me, those occurrences were all just me needing to be loved. You can't truly love someone until you have known them for a while. I know it sucks to be in disappointing relationships one after another, but don't lose hope. I had to go through about 30 boyfriends before I found true love. I know it's love because he is my best friend, he is my reason for living, and I miss him every day when he goes to work. Another way I know it's love is when we get in an argument and he REALLY is p i ssing me off, I will think to myself "God, what an a s s hole! But I still love him" And with my past relationships when I would get in fights, I would think "I should just break up with this guy."<br />
Love exists, and it will come. Don't look too hard, they always show up when you least expect it!

I have no idea why the site chose to asterisk the word "L U S T " (In my comment above????)<br />
But in doing so it changes the whole connotation of the commment???

The Divine Madness.. Aptly named, Lust on fire, Call it anything you wish! But You know when you aren't loved it seems.. It hits like a freight train on fire and no damnit there are no rules. When you least expect it, ya can't devise it, plan it, predict it or control it.<br />
But when ya are there tis the whole reason for your being.<br />
I'm not sure if that helps a bunch? But maybe it gave ya a laugh til ya are a 'Victum"<br />

If you want to feel loved then you know what love is. It's a word that is thrown around a lot and I think each person has to decide what it is for themselves. Love for me starts with compassion and interest. To be interested in what someone else is doing and compassionate about their situation is love. It's pretty simple to me. It is caring. I get frustrated with the world much of the time and do feel what could be called hatred some of the time. But my general philosophy shines through most of the time. I love everyone and if there is someone out there and we have an attraction and we get along well, I will love that person. You just may need to define for yourself what love is and open up a little bit to feel it. It's hard to feel love if you feel jaded about the world.

I think love is hard. Made even more so by the portrayal in the media of the perfect cases of infatuation and love, that never go beneath the surface to all the trials and tribulations that every relationship goes through. Its hard to even figure out what love is, since its never really defined. I tend to go by the definition "love is caring about someone else's happiness as much as you care about your own," and try to go back to that whenever there are issues. But is that really love, or just a prerequisite to be able to live peacefully with anyone? Or is that what love is? It's such an amorphous issue.