I Want Out, He Wants Me To StayI really think it is a case of a fragile tropical plant that has not been watered in way too long. My love for him has died and I can't get it back. He admits to "checking out" of the marriage previously. Of course this was at a time when I really needed him - my job was suffering, I was the primary breadwinner and parent. I needed a partner and I got a roommate who wouldn't listen. There was the time when he was addicted to internet ****. There goes the sex life for over a year. Now I have asked him to move out, not once but four times. He sleeps downstairs. We haven't had sex in well over a year. When we tried the last time, I just cry. Unfortunately that is what this marriage has given me, more tears than laughter.
I realize that a marriage takes work, but when I have tried for over two years to communicate with him openly (after simmering in resentment for 3) I have pretty much given up. I don't hold a hope for my marriage. We are going to counseling but I don't think it will help. What I wish it would do is show him how much pain and heartbreak he gave me that I just can't get over.
We have been together for 18 years, married for 9. And all I want is a divorce. I told him I would go through 12 weeks of counseling but, at the end either he needs to go or I do. I just can't take it anymore, even though he is trying, I don't trust him to keep it up - it is just a phase.
He says he needs to grow and become a better communicator. I don't want to be his guinnea pig. I'm done.