I Don't Know If I Love My Husband
My husband is a great guy who treats me so well - he is kind, supportive and caring. The problem is, I just don't know if I'm in love with him anymore. I have felt this way for years now - in fact I was a little unsure even before we got married - but I have been trying to ignore it or work through it. Particularly, I felt that perhaps this is just normal, that it is unreasonable to expect to still have the 'squishy' feelings about someone after all this time (we have been together almost 15 years).
It became a huge issue for me when I started getting huge crushes on other guys. The first time, it was with a long-term friend, who I really think I fell in love with, but I reasoned to myself that maybe he was just a special guy, someone else I could have been with if I hadn't been with my husband. But now it has happened again, I feel myself falling for another friend. I know it's not unusual to get crushes on people, but this feels more serious. I wonder if it is because I have never dated anyone other that my husband, who I met when I was 15.
I feel like I have tried - I have been having counselling for a couple of years now, even tried marriage counselling with my husband. I have tried doing more things with him, like going on holiday, and that helps for a while but things always seem to come back to the same point. That is - I just don't think I love him the way he loves me.
Recently, we have been fighting a lot because I always want to go out, where he doesn't, and I have realised that I have been stringing him along, waiting until I am ready for him, and it is making him unhappy. We talked about this and decided it's best if we separate.
Now, I don't know what to do. Part of me feels terrible for hurting such a great guy, and also like I'm probably making a huge mistake in giving up someone like him, when I may never find someone again who treats me so well. The other part of me is excited to finally be out on my own, independent, with the chance of meeting someone new who perhaps I will have more exciting feelings for.
I guess I would just like to hear from anyone who's been through something similar, or has any advice. I feel very lost right now.
It became a huge issue for me when I started getting huge crushes on other guys. The first time, it was with a long-term friend, who I really think I fell in love with, but I reasoned to myself that maybe he was just a special guy, someone else I could have been with if I hadn't been with my husband. But now it has happened again, I feel myself falling for another friend. I know it's not unusual to get crushes on people, but this feels more serious. I wonder if it is because I have never dated anyone other that my husband, who I met when I was 15.
I feel like I have tried - I have been having counselling for a couple of years now, even tried marriage counselling with my husband. I have tried doing more things with him, like going on holiday, and that helps for a while but things always seem to come back to the same point. That is - I just don't think I love him the way he loves me.
Recently, we have been fighting a lot because I always want to go out, where he doesn't, and I have realised that I have been stringing him along, waiting until I am ready for him, and it is making him unhappy. We talked about this and decided it's best if we separate.
Now, I don't know what to do. Part of me feels terrible for hurting such a great guy, and also like I'm probably making a huge mistake in giving up someone like him, when I may never find someone again who treats me so well. The other part of me is excited to finally be out on my own, independent, with the chance of meeting someone new who perhaps I will have more exciting feelings for.
I guess I would just like to hear from anyone who's been through something similar, or has any advice. I feel very lost right now.
By:
wahiiba
Age:
26-30
11
responses
