I Don't Know If I Love My Husband
I have been married for just over ten months.
My husband and I have had our share of problems in the past. I knew marriage would never solve our problmes, but I believed we would be able to work through whatever came along.
My husband can be quite aggressive and arrogant. Never physically violent towards me, but he has come frighteningly close in the past.
We have attempted councelling for our problems, but he finds it easier to blame all our problems on myself, and after only a couple of sessions, he refused to go again.
Whenever I try to talk to him about a sensitive issue, like our finances, he will 'blow up', and a conversation becomes an all out war where he tells me to "get out of his house" that he "wants a divorce", and often resorts to name calling, which really upsets me, long after the argument is over. We used to have these arguments regularly. Maybe once a fortnight, but things have been going really well since we got married. He has been making an effort to be fair and knd and understanding, and manage his anger, but today we have had one of these arguments, and I am trying to find the strength to leave, because I am having real doubts about whether I love this man, and whether or not this is the man I want to be the father of my children.
Nobody is perfect, least of all me, and I know there are many things that I could work on to improve myself for the benefit of our marriage. I just dont know if I want to anymore.
I find it hard to tak to my family and friends about this, because if we do work things out, I dont want them to hold these things against him.
My husband and I have had our share of problems in the past. I knew marriage would never solve our problmes, but I believed we would be able to work through whatever came along.
My husband can be quite aggressive and arrogant. Never physically violent towards me, but he has come frighteningly close in the past.
We have attempted councelling for our problems, but he finds it easier to blame all our problems on myself, and after only a couple of sessions, he refused to go again.
Whenever I try to talk to him about a sensitive issue, like our finances, he will 'blow up', and a conversation becomes an all out war where he tells me to "get out of his house" that he "wants a divorce", and often resorts to name calling, which really upsets me, long after the argument is over. We used to have these arguments regularly. Maybe once a fortnight, but things have been going really well since we got married. He has been making an effort to be fair and knd and understanding, and manage his anger, but today we have had one of these arguments, and I am trying to find the strength to leave, because I am having real doubts about whether I love this man, and whether or not this is the man I want to be the father of my children.
Nobody is perfect, least of all me, and I know there are many things that I could work on to improve myself for the benefit of our marriage. I just dont know if I want to anymore.
I find it hard to tak to my family and friends about this, because if we do work things out, I dont want them to hold these things against him.
By:
leetancredi
Age:
26-30
