I Don't Know If I Love My Husband

It All Changed Once We Were Married

By: MilitarySpouse

Written on September 13th, 2011

I have been married to my husband for six months now and our relationship has done a complete 180 since that day. I have been dating my husband off and on for three years when we finally decided to get married. We never broke up for any reason except he is a marine and was moving around a lot. Before we were married he was always so supportive of anything I did and was so loving and respectful. Two weeks after we got married I found out through his email that he had cheated. He hadn't had sex with anyone else but had been part of lewd acts with two other females right after we got married. I wasn't around yet because I was still in the midst of quitting my job and moving down to be with him where he was stationed. I did this because he asked me to cone and live with him before he was deployed again. The hardest part is that I found out he lied about how much he was involved in this situation until right after he deployed. He only came all the way "clean" because I caught him in a story change. Not only am I hurt that he cheated and broke my trust but he lied. My husband has been deployed now for two months and ever since we have gotten married he has decided that he should be able to tell me exactly what to do. What to wear, where I can go, and who I can speak to. I am a strong woman who doesn't like to be told what to do. He has told me he doesn't trust me. I feel stuck. Anytime I tell him I don't want to be with someone like that he flips it and says he has never told me what to do. I hate thinking that I don't love the man I married anymore. What can I do while he is deployed? I need an outside perspective on this. For the record I have never cheated, or lied, or gave him any reason to not trust me. Help!! He sees nothing wrong with our relationship or how he treats me

By: MilitarySpouse

Age: 22-25

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3 responses

Brieks07

Stick to your guns MilitarySpouse! You have never given him any reason to not trust you....the reason he doesn't trust you is because HE can't be trusted! It's fairly common that those who cheat will become really paranoid that the person they're cheating on is also cheating on them! I am so sorry to read what is going on and what happened after you got married. =( Remember, though he is going through a lot, so are you! He's not being fair to you. Don't let him talk you out of your own feelings and what you know is happening. Don't let him flip your discussions around and put it back on you. If anything, point it out right when he tells you what to do! He's controlling.

I really hope you both will be able to talk it out and start on the road to making things right. Until then, don't let him pressure you to have a baby. The environment a baby is born into is very important.

Sep 28, 2011
1 like
MilitarySpouse

I am just a very empathetic person. I know he is going through a lot being over there even though this is our second deployment. I want to be trusted. I feel like my only options are to comply and make him happy while being miserable myself, or to do what I need to do and put more stress on him. He wants to have a baby when he gets back and I already told him I wasn't ready for that because I am not sure we can make it much longer.

Sep 16, 2011
1 like
loopnscc

First off Don't get Pregnant what every you do for any reason don't. Divorcing with kids is 100 time harder then with out. To me it sounds like he is turning the tables on you. You caught him in a bad spot now to get you on your heels he says he doesn't trust you. I see a ton of red flags, but only you can tell what your next step should be.

Sep 14, 2011
2 likes

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