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We Are So Different---why Did We Ever Marry?

I've been married for 23 years now to my "kindergarten sweetheart" and don't think I can stand another day with him.  I don't think we ever should have married.  We are practically complete opposites!  I'm introverted, he's extremely extroverted.  Everything I enjoy doing he hates and vice versa.  In 23 years we haven't been able to find anything that we enjoy doing together. 

The worst part is, he's changed dramatically in the past few years.  After having our second child, I decided to give up my career in finance and stay home full time to raise our children (now totalling four).  Long story short, he moved on and up in his career and is now so full of himself I can't stomach it.  He is extremely arrogant and patronizing.  In social situations he dominates all conversations with long, drawn-out stories and "teachings", he even interrupts me when someone asks ME a question to give his own opinions!  He no longer seems to care if his behavior is annoying.  And he really doesn't seem the least bit interested in me anymore either.

I've become very resentful and highly irritable around him.  I find it very hard to be around him anymore.  Any advice out there?  (Please refrain if you feel the need to lecture me on how both partners need to try, etc.  I've been patronized enough by him.)

 

jesster jesster 41-45 4 Responses Aug 21, 2009

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tell him how you feel, stay calm. Tell him he needs to take more care of your needs, or you are moving on.

I totally know exactly what you are going thru and more so, how you feel towards your husband now. I've been married for 15 years. I know what's it is like living with a man like that, mine is the same or worse. Divorce is not the answer when kids are involved. I am just bidding my time with him in this home for now. Just counting the years till my youngest one leaves for college. But what lessens the anger, frustration and loneliness for me is that I keep focused on what I have now, rather than what i would have without him. I have the happiness of my kids. They are growing up so well adjusted compared to their peers whose parents went thru messy divorces. I don't want to see their sadness. I have to be responsible and thank the Lord he always provides for me. But if your kids are all out of the house by now, what's stopping you. You need to say 'Sayonara' and be happy.

I totally agree with codeblue. Lifes to short, and its not like you haven't been there ling enough and tried. Move on, and find true happiness.

Life is short, Divorce and move on!!! Do it not just for yourself, but for your children. Try to do it on a friendly basis if possible.