Unconqured Demons

I don't know if I want to have children, for a lot of reasons.

The fact that the world is so evil and uncaring.

The fact that humanity can't get it's head out of it's collective rear to avoid ecological collapse.

The fact that I simply don't want to be responsible for another life when I've made such a mess of mine.

But the biggest one is I've struggled with emotional and mental issues my whole life, and I'm scared that I'll pass that on to any children I have, espically since mental illness, depression and even alchoholism runs in my family.

I'm always struggling with my issues, with only short respits of peace or happiness. The mental illness I struggle with means true happiness will never be mine.

I'll never be whole.

The Chinese believe that if a father can't conquer his inner demons, than they are passed down to his children.

I don't want to be responsible for bringing an innocent life into this world that's just going to be crushed by it.
barbetto barbetto
31-35, M
2 Responses Dec 25, 2012

Mental Illness runs in my family too, which scares me about having children. But it sounds like you've already made up your mind to me. You didn't state any reasons why you would want them, so I guess you don't want them.

"If a father can't conquer his inner demons, then they are passed down to his children" ...Thats an interesting saying. I am Chinese and I dont know about this one. I like and I see the truth in it. I hope my father conquers his.<br />
I understand what you mean by bringing a child into this kind of world. It can be cruel and ugly. I have debated this myself. I've concluded that I am going to try to see the good in the world and hope my child(ren) will contribute to the bright side.