Im Just Confuse

 I have many gay and bi friends, one of my best friends is gay. some of them even told me that  they liked me and for the longest time i told them no I'm not bi. there was girls i found very pretty or had nice bodies but recently there was one friend of mine who i had this attraction too. i tried to ignore it but i couldn't't. i found her so beautiful out of no where. one thing lead to another and we started to kiss. sorry to say it was at a party but the weird thing is i was also kissing a guy but i wasn't really interested in the guy just her. i told him to go away because i wanted her to myself. i never felt like this for a girl even thought i had many girls approach me. now i don't know if I'm bi of if I'm just gay for this one girl. i have to figure some thing out because i cant get this girl out of my head and i know if i come out my friends would have no problem but my family will disown me.

gypsygurl1192 gypsygurl1192
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 28, 2010

I completely understand this because literally the same thing happened to me :) so seriously thank you for writing this. It's truly funny because I even thought I was bicurious until I couldn't get this one girl I met out of my head and would always in general get nervous around her not having the nerve to go up to her and talk. All I know from my own personal experiences is that, I'm pretty sure it's not a phase when someone causes you to think about them a lot- its literally almost always a crush and if you're in ur teen's to 20's ur more than likely past the age of friend- crushes. Still though, the best thing I've learned is be patient, continue doing what ur doing, and follow ur own heart, do what's right for u. In terms of being disowned, don't think that expect ur parents to be confused at first because really it takes time. My mom now, for example, wants me to find a guy but has said some things that makes me think she's started to accept me coming out to her. Though, the best advice I have for you in come out when you're ready.

it dosnt matter what you are its who you fall in love with,the world is obsessed with labels and its really killing people with fear of what they will be labeld as,just go with the flow,if it works out with her screw what your family thinks,family shouldnt disown you for loving someone its not really something you can controll,i hope it works out for you =)