I Don't Know If My Partner Will Be Able To Support A Family

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, I believe we are honestly in love and for the most part have had a healthy, balanced partnership as our relationship has grown. In the past couple of years, he has pursued a career as a freelance photographer after earning a university degree but mainly working in restaurants. I didn't and still don't have any problem with this and have supported his pursuits in any way I could. He has similarly supported me in my educational pursuits (moving with me to the UK while I was getting my master's). At one point both of us had substantial savings and I saw the next logical step in our relationship as buying a little place to make a home and by the time we're 30 (2 year countdown now!) thinking about starting a family. He hasn't asked my to marry him and I don't know if he ever will though he says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't really have a problem with that aside from external pressures, but overall, if there's love, that good enough for me.

More recently, his photography business hasn't been as successful and I have been footing the majority of our household expenses, which are moderate at best (our combined expenses probably amount to $1500 per month). I haven't minded doing this as I was in the mindset of "what's mine is yours" and thinking of him essentially as my life partner. However, after realizing he has less than a quarter of his savings left while I have been spending 12 hour days at my job saving all I can for a future I thought we both wanted, I have begun to feel a little taken advantage of and I really fear I will come to resent him rather than be proud of him. I asked him if he wants a family still and if we're on the same page, to which he responded yes, but I don't see him making the effort to put himself out there and save money to start a future. He nearly didn't go to a job interview to a camera store because he didn't like the location...I drive nearly 2 hours everyday to a job I generally enjoy but which is hardly my dream job.

I want to keep on believing in us and look forward to our future with hope and positivity, but if I were to get pregnant, I as the breadwinner, would have to stop work, and I don't know if he is capable of supporting a family. His father was a stay at home dad, but his parents really had to struggle. I do not want that and have realized I need an equal partner in raising a family.  When does support need to be cut with a little reality or are my expectations just too high in terms of what each person should contribute (financially and otherwise) to a relationship?...I just really hope love does conquer all

granderoyale granderoyale
26-30, F
Mar 6, 2010