A Letter From Your Unknown Dad

I don't know what you've been told, but I would never purposely hurt you. I don't care how you got here, or who your mother is, you are part of me, and hurting you is hurting myself. I know we have never met, but I want to explain something to you just in case we never do. There is no valley deep enough, or mountain high enough that would keep me from you. The ONLY thing that can keep us seperate is information. My lack of it actually. I searched every way I knew how, and for my whole life and felt like a failure at times for not being able to find what I was looking for. YOU. I even signed up on this website called ExperienceProject to see if there were any children looking for me. PLUS I wrote stories and admitted embarrassing things so that if YOU read them you could find ME.

I thought about you. I thought about the pain I may have cause innocent, beautiful, little you through MY immaturity. I thought about the possibility of never being able to tell you "I'm sorry for not being there". I've thought about the possibility of you having an evil-stepfather, and wanted to kick his ***. I thought about not being there to make sure your date was worthy of taking you to the prom. Or congratulating you on how cute your date to the prom was.

I think about you now knowing about half of yourself. Not knowing the medical history of your bloodline. Not knowing why your hair is not like your mother's hair, or eyes look different than everyone else in the house. I SWEAR I think about you.

I think about what type of life you had, and hope that you were fed well. I feel weak for having to hope these things, because making SURE that you ate well and had shelter were MY responsibilites. It was MY job to tuck you in at night, and kiss you goodbye each morning. It was my responsibility to comfort you throught the storms, and hand you lunch money every morning as I saw you off to school.

So I apologize. I apologize for the POSSIBILITY that I have left a child out there not knowing their father.
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2 Responses Sep 8, 2013

I'm over 50 years old. This post's author has been deleted. I hope the post itself never is. I am moved to tears in reading it. Thank you, anonymous author.

I know that this isn't MY father, but this letter has helped me more than anyone can know...