"I Don't Know My Father"

I Have never meet my father,

One day my mother walked into my bedroom when i was about sixteen and told me that the man i thought was my dad was not, i was in total shock! I found out who was and contacted my auntie she gave me photos and told me i had a brother and sister a couple of years younger than me.

I was also told that he would never want to meet me  this was hard to accept at such a young age.I decided not to pursue it as his children was still young.

I later had to daughters,I still have not meet him, his wife sees me as threat even though my mum and him were togehter BEFORE they got together.

My mum told me that when i was first born, she took me to his mothers house and he attempted to pick me up his wife who at the time had only been dating him for a short time said "don't you pick up that baby" he never saw me again but I've been told he carries my photo.

I feel like a dirty secret, i have the right to know my family, who i am. I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN?

I have since written to him, when i say written and eight page letter, I have had no response.

This man is a police officer he is suppose to have morals.

I just want my kids to know who they are is that too much to ask? I'm now 28 and still  I don't know myself.

tabbycathuddersfield tabbycathuddersfield
2 Responses Mar 22, 2009

My daughter is 20 and i never told her...

it took you 12 years to be shocked that a man doesn't want to see you. Come on, he might have gave you life, but the real person who was there in your life is the man who stayed with your mum and took care of you. <br />
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Your obsess with having a relationship with a man who disowned you from a very long time ago. and never wrote, called or found out how you were doing. Why case a ghost? <br />
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your 28, and your kids see you as the dad. Don't take out another energy not believing that you don't know who you are just cause you never met your father. Your kids never met there grandpa and there doing fine. They have you to look up to, be a man and live, damn it.