I Dont Know Myself Anymore

cant find words for this..just wanna open myself to someone :S

Born in spain, my mom is finnish and dad spanish, they got divorced when i was 5 years old..we moved to finland: just my mom, sister and bigger brother. im almost 18 now, and going to highschool..first off, i've been overweight all my life.. im 160 cm and weight 90 kilos now, i lost 25 kilos when i was 12, but i ate all that back :/ im so stressed out with this, every day. there are days when im more glad and laughing a lot, but the sad days are very hard! my sister is almost 18 as i and my brother is in the army now..i feel so lonely, my sister is always with her boyfriend and i understand her! how could i put this on words.. im so angry! and i dont know why. im so social and get easily friends, but i feel like those friendships dont work so long, i mean they dont get "deeper", they are later just people that i know and say hello to when i see them. i live in countryside, and its hard for me because i like to live more in a city where i could go to the movies or just walk on the streets and watch people come and go. i feel so much strain! when im in school, i got this "happy role" going on. i have some friends i met when i started in higs school last year, and got a best friends, but later she found some friends that seem to be more "her" so now we dont  even hang out  anymore... my house is so far from everything, i cant go anywhere from here..but when im for exempel at school, i can feel people looking at me and i feel so shamed about myself. now i really realise im not confidence at all.


i always say we must not complain about little things!! i know that..this is just how i feel!  just cant even put everythin on words..

diamondsareagirlsbestfriend diamondsareagirlsbestfriend
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 6, 2010

There is but only one way to solve ones difficulties, and that is with your mind on God in direct ways. Not churches built by man and not blind preachers out for their bellies, but only God. If you believe in Him and have a love for Him in your heart, He will love you in return. Proverbs 8:17 Have needs? He knows them. Matthew 6:8 <br />
If you want God's help all you need is faith, because without faith you cannot please Him Hebrews 11:6 <br />
No matter what your problem may be; Cast all of your cares upon Him; for he cares about you. <br />
1 Peter 5:7 And there is no fee, only faith. Take care