A Smart Failure

I graduated from high school about 1 year ago, I graduated very well. I got 94% and there wasn't any school I couldn't get in. Problem was, I was from a Communist Third world country. I got in this pretigious school. I couldn't get the visa. I stayed back in my country. At the end of the year, I went to China to study Chinese for a while and got a little bit better. I felt like a failure and I felt lonely the whole time, but I tried to pull it through. I topped the class again, just as before.

I applied to this school in Finland. I got in. I don't like what I am studying. But if the school is not well-known I don't wanna be in it. This is a really humblng experience, everyone thought I was gonna be the best. When I got to Finland i thought i would be fine, the nightmare was over. It wasn't. I don't like what I am studying. I think I am not suitable for it. I think I should go back to where I feel belong. But I would have to start over again. My mum would be so mad. And I don't know how many more times I would stop and start over like that. I feel so old. I am 20, my friends already finished 1 or 2 years of their education and I am still no where...

Not knowing what you want to do is painful. It takes away time from your life which you could have used for better things.

daisykitty daisykitty
18-21, F
7 Responses Feb 20, 2010

I think your problem is something else... expectation, opinion of the others, how you look in their eyes. The fame/prestige of the school has nothing to do.... the material is the same everywhere. If you are so good, you can be good everywhere ;)
If you feel miserable the way you are and know if it continues you will be even more miserable, but just keep going in the same painful direction just because of others opinion.... hm, keep in mind - its your own life, dont punish yourself

I feel the same, honey. But I hope for the best for you too. Hold on there. Time's coming for you to shine.

Yes, I have something in common with you..Iam nineteen and studying IT next year.But Iam disappointed myself everyday because I havent pushedyself to study properly...not
concentrate. That's why I come to this website...and there are someone the same as me...wish I overcome this situation which haunted me half a year .

rather than trying to learn, why not help with what you're learned? why not go to third world countries where they need your help? the peace core would be great for you.

U R A BRILLIANT STUDENT, DONT GET DISHEARTENED.<br />
I SUGGEST U THAT , DONT DO ANYTHING THAT U DONT LIKE TO DO. <br />
TRY TO CHANGE THE COURSE, AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.<br />
DONT WASTE TIME. DONT THINK ABOUT OTHERS.<br />
JUST DO WHAT UR HEART SAYS TO U.<br />
B CONFIDENT AND HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF.

I know it hard Im in a college where they dont tech much I'm wast my time. I think it depends how long your on your course for

I know it hard Im in a college where they dont tech much I'm wast my time. I think it depends how long your on your course for