Disenchanted

Note: Perhaps you shouldn't read this if you're a psychologist. I'm quite negative here, but it's my thoughts and I don't wish to offend anyone.

I used to want to be a psychologist - help ppl with their emotional problems, lend an ear, give some advice, and see them heal, and be their friend. Happy smiles all 'round.

I'm not quite sure when it changed. But now, I'm starting to think that it wouldn't be a good career option. First, I heard that my dad's friend's son studies psych in uni, then one yr after graduating, he's going back to uni to study law instead. As a government psychologist, he had to drive out at 2am to houses where husbands and wives were screaming, to collect kids. Pretty much do the work of a social worker. Then he'd have to explain to the wife what her options were, and then deal with the husband screaming abuse at him. It's very selfish and hypocritical of me. It's a stupid attitude to take - wanting to ignore, dusting my hands off of these ugly situations. I'm a part of the I Wish I Could Help. I am such a hyprocrite.

Well, here comes the paragraph about my excuses.

I don't know that I could handle it. I don't know that I would be able to leave it all when I walk out the office doors. Leave all the screaming husbands, bruised wives and crying children. Just thinking about it is making me very depressed right now. And then, even if the psychologist's work isn't as social-worker-esque as I think, and more like the typical Hollywood version, it's not much of an improvement. It seems so fake to me. How do you feel today? Crap, like crap. Oh really? And why is that? I don't know. Could it be to do with your impending divorce? So many complex feelings, so many cliques, so many scripted words of sorrow and cold comfort.

I'm studying psychology at school too, and that it's not doing very much to plant eager feelings in me is disheartening. The more I learn, the more I feel like my original ideas were too idealistic.

For now, I am feeling totally hopeless. This is not who I wanted to become. I want to be a person with a goal. With a damn good future ahead, full of shiny, pretty things like love, success, contentment in my job, and so on. I am so lost as to what I should do with my life that I am resorting to aiming for my dad's goals for me. Do law and psych in uni and get a job in public service. Oh hell. What's happened? I hope I get a grip on my life soon...

BowsAndBones BowsAndBones
18-21, F
5 Responses Aug 11, 2007

I'd like to say - You should believe in your heart and in yourself. If that is the career you have chosen then don't give up. There is always positives and negatives to any job or career. In this particular case, I think you should look more at the positives of what benefits you can get out of such a career. I understand your not wanting to deal with screaming, fighting and crying but there are positives too. Can those positives out weigh the negatives well, I don't know I think it is what you put into it. You see if you provide someone with help, mend a childs fears or hurt or even an adults need for self esteem, confidence you are giving back what they need. In the end you will feel that accomplishment and accept your career and be happy for the positive things you could do to help an individual. I admire you for choosing such a career. Hold on to your dreams, keep studying, think positive. Thats our first mistake when we start to think negative. <br />
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I have said this before to others and I am sure you have already heard it but just as a reminder. The Magnet, Positive and Negative Theory. When you think positive that thought goes out an grabs on to another positive thought But, When you think a negative thought the law of attraction comes into play as the negative thought attracts like a magnet ten negative thoughts. Soon those negative thoughts far over ride the positive thoughts and everything is negative. I say when trying to decide don't allow the negative thoughts to come into your mind because if you do then the negative thoughts will over ride your decision and you will continue to be confused and lost. Just reading your information you have got the courage to get an education and try don't give up your dreams, think positive, believe in yourself and look for the positives.<br />
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Good Luck and I am here if you need someone to talk to. Reach for the Stars!

Thank you so much incognito92! <br />
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In the beginning, I was quite confused about the difference between a social worker and a psychologist. Needless to say, I was shocked to find out that things were the way you described in the community health centres. It’s a bit unfair, I think – to work with different qualifications in the same job. <br />
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Will you be working in a private practice then? I didn’t get the feeling it was too much of an encouraging experience, working in the community centre.

Thanks for commenting, both! <br />
I think all the depressing topics I'm researching and learning for school is the cause of all this pessimism. Or maybe its just me. <br />
I'm apprehensive about talking to a psychologist. What if they say all the things I think they'll say? What if they confirm the stereotypes? I guess the answer is that I'll never know until I try, but the fear's still there. <br />
Maybe I *should* try to listen out for my calling, instead of whining on. There's so many ppl to help, and so many ways to help. I guess the possibilities are just overwhelming me completely. I never do very well when faced with choices, it seems. <br />
My dad went on his first conference and came back very excited. He was quietly in awe of all the ppl he saw that epitomised Perfection and Success. The APS is a secure place to work, and I guess that's what he thinks is most important - job security. He thinks that as long as there's money to spend, I'll be happy. I am worried that I will succumb to this belief, and find out its not true in the future. Not good. <br />
I'm definitely hoping that something new will come up in the future - some new profession that I can work in without feeling hypocritical or like a fraud. Some new calling. =><br />
I suppose this feeling is going to come and go, like all other depressive moods. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to find a solution to it in the next 17 months or so before I graduate and move on to uni...

You will find your calling soon. Their are all sorts of jobs/experiences out in the world that involve helping people. My Mother in-law works at a homeless shelter specifically for homeless pregnant girls and woman. I've been there to visit and most all the girls and woman seem so happy that they are being helped. They have food,meds,DR visits, and they get clothes for the babies. their are SO many programs out there involved in helping people. Don't give up hope, just broaden your horizen a little and look into other possibilities. Keep your head up! J

Some sneezing Dodo thoughts (quality not guaranteed, sorry)...<br />
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If you have a notion in your head about a dream job, it is worth developing that idea., flesh it out and make it substantial. And then see if it exists, because it might well do!<br />
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Also, it seems a bit hazardous to be basing your ideas on what a career will be like based on *one* single *reported* experience, or on television's depiction of the career. <br />
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Have you talked to many people in the field (who have stayed in the field)? Maybe the specific career you're looking for is not labeled "psychologist", but there might be jobs out there that are what you have in your mind.<br />
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And if the job doesn't exist, there might well be a market for it! <br />
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I have NO idea why anyone would want their child to work for the Australian Public Service (or do a law degree). What terrible ambitions to have for their offspring!!!! <br />
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Aim for happiness first :) A person with job security but no happiness is just someone who finds that they are trapped in a job that is making them more miserable each day :P